The Blossom and the Blue-Fin Tuna

Decorating Dilemma

2009-02-02T20:28:00.000-08:00

Ok, I have a small problem. I have a poster that I possibly cannot live without. You know what it looks like. You know you do. I absolutely have to hang it in my apartment. I just don't know where. I fear that if I hang it, I will bring my classy bachlorette pad down to a college dorm room. Yet, if I don't hang it somewhere visible, I feel I am denying an essential part of my personality in all of its quirkyness. In all of its Yvette-ness. So, do I hang it in my bedroom? The shoe/massage room? The hallway? The kitchen? I know I don't want to hang it in my living room, but it must be hung. It must be hung. Sigh.

Love,
Yvette

PS- If you don't know me, here is what it looks like.

Quick Update via Email

2009-02-02T13:50:00.001-08:00

Have I abandoned this blog?
--No.

Have I simply been very busy?
--Yes.

Do I intend to return to this blog?
--I sincerely hope so.

What have I been doing all this time?
--Well.....

1) I applied for a new job, had an interview and made it to the top 3. Then the position was froze due to our lovely state budget issues. It may or may not thaw out. Same work I do now, but down at the hospital level and (so I thought) safe from state budget cut issues like my current job is.

2) Decided to have a work mid-life crisis which led to many sleepless nights. I'm trying to find a way to make following my dreams and earning money and being a productive member of society NOT mutually exclusive.

3) I've joined a Lance Armstrong Foundation LiveSTRONG Challenge team. Me and my bike, 100 miles, San Jose, July 12th. I will be hitting you up for your money to meet my fundraising goal of $1,107.01

4) Half Dome: The Rematch. It's still on, we just don't know when. Possibly June or late September. My friends and I are still trying to nail down a date.

5) My friend and colleague Carolyn who was diagnosed with an aggressive brain cancer died last month. It was painful to watch her deteriorate. I'm glad her pain is over now, but I'm saddened by my loss. Also, since we worked together at the central registry, the mourning is compounded by the fact that now we are one man down. Work stress is elevated right now.

6) Instead of drowning my stress and sadness with bottles of reposado or anejo tequila (and yes, I can drink it straight up without making a face) I have been distracting myself to past the point of obsession with the Twilight series. From January 1 to January 28, I read the entire Twilight series plus the partial manuscript Midnight Sun (Twilight, from Edward's perspective) not once, but twice, AND saw the movie Twilight in the theatre 7 times. In my defense, it's not my most seen movie. Back in 1998-ish I saw Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon in the theatre 8 times. I fully admit, Edward makes me swoon. The book Edward, not the movie Edward. In my opinion, the adaptation didn't do any of the characters justice, especially Alice.

7) The soda issue: I am still Coke free. If I make it to tomorrow night (Tuesday) 8:00pm, I will be soda free for 12 weeks!!! 12 weeks, is my record from 5 years ago.

I saved 8 for last since it's happy news (depending who you ask).

8) I'm moving! Got a place of my own- way past due. WAY WAY past due. A simple apartment, two bedrooms one bathroom. A room for me, and a room for my shoes (I own more pairs of Chaco's than allowable by law- I love you REI!). I'm halfway moved in, only because I'm not taking any time off from the day job (see #5 above). I'm very tempted to leave the living room empty, gives me a good space to dance (see #2). What stops me is that my sofa would look ridiculous in the dining room and my massage table is already destined for the shoe room. I'll figure something out. Did I mention that this is way past due?

That's it for now.

Have I lost my mind?
--Probably....

Love,
Yvette

Blog test two fail because

2009-01-08T13:31:00.001-08:00

Blog test two fail because I'm looking for more space than Twitter's 140 character limit. Text to blog only gives me 131.

Mobile test one. We the

2009-01-08T13:18:00.001-08:00

Mobile test one. We the people of the United States, in order to form a more union, establish justice, ensure domestic tranquility

Getting Ready

2008-12-18T21:10:00.000-08:00

Yes, it has been a while since I last posted. I have been spending my time reading some books and thinking about stuff.

I have decided to not post as much. I want to go from quantity to quality. I want to slow down and savor life. There are lots of things that I would rather be out doing than sitting here trying to recount my day. If I were a more interesting person, doing more interesting things, maybe it would be worth it. But on a daily basis, I’m just not that interesting of a person.

I’m still going to continue blogging, because I have some genuinely interesting projects coming up, just expect a post once a week. I definitely recommend adding me to your Google reader, so my updates will come to you, instead of you checking my site daily for updates.

If you’re interested in reading my random thoughts throughout the day, you can follow me on Twitter. It’s easy to sign up and easy to use. If you don’t want to get sucked into it, you can read my tweets from here on my blog directly. It’s up to you.

This past Tuesday, December 16th, has been 5 weeks without Coke. Personally, I am amazed. I would normally have caved by now. I still feel strong in my resolve. I wish what has been my influence came years ago. I think a friend from my past, Kara, would be proud. I haven’t had any conventional candy bars either. So far I’ve only had one chocolate bar that fit the bill. It was free trade, organic, and didn’t contain HFCS. Oh, almost forgot, haven’t had any potato or corn chips either. It sounds like I’ve gone quite militant, n’est-ce pas? Maybe I have, maybe not. Blame REI, blame Michael Pollan, blame that I’m a liberal, blame turning 35, or blame not making it to the top of Half Dome. Blame all of the above, or none of the above. I don’t think the reason matters much to me, quite honestly. All I know right now is that I’m having some surprising results. J This hasn’t come all of a sudden out of the blue. It’s been growing little by little for some time now. Part of it is the slowing down.

I had started telling a story about myself, but I removed it because it wasn’t really necessary. I spoke of growing up in the 80’s and never learning to make tortillas from scratch. Basically I was posing a theory that I had sabotaged my future eating habits growing up because I had refused to learn how to cook.

So what projects do I have coming up worth sharing? The Half Dome rematch is a big one. I still haven’t determined a date. May feels too early, August too hot. I like the thought of early June, but I know that June and July are the busiest months to hike Half Dome. I just want to make sure that I won’t have to worry about another storm on the horizon.

I mentioned this next one before, as I was contemplating even attempting it. I have made up my mind, and I have made the commitment: I have joined a LiveSTRONG challenge team. I have committed to raising $1,107.01 for the Lance Armstrong Foundation, and I will finally (FINALLY) be riding in my first century. (I’ve only ridden metrics in the past). In case some of you are wondering why such an odd amount of money, it’s because my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer on 11/07/01. The ride takes place during July in San Jose. I wish Lance could be there, but I’m pretty sure he won’t because he’ll be in France riding in Le Tour. Don’t panic yet-- I plan on waiting until after this holiday season before I start my passionate plea for your money.

Oh, and that thing that I wrote of previously, I have decided NOT to do it. I can’t. It’s just way too personal. I sense the contradiction in that statement, I’m blogging about my life for potentially all the world to see, yet wanting to maintain a sense of privacy. It’s times like this that I’m relieved that less than ten people read my blog. (And that’s on a good day)

There is one last thing, but I can’t talk about it just yet. It wouldn’t be prudent. If you are my friend on Facebook, you already know. I promise all will be revealed as soon as I think it is acceptable to do so. Definitely sometime in January, I think.

That is all I have for now.

Love, Yvette

Hello

2008-11-24T19:10:00.000-08:00

How are you? I'm doing okay. Nothing major going on. This past Saturday I put in some hours at REI. Felt really good to be wearing my green vest again. I missed that place. It's my peeps. REI is genuinely the best retail job I have ever had. I do have to admit that I might not feel the same way if REI was my only job, the one I rely on for my livelyhood. Since I don't rely on that job, it's not really a job. No stress, nothing to take home, I leave the job at the job. I go in, I be myself- that friendly person you all know and love: I sing, I dance, I laugh, I help customers, I share experiences with them. I love asking my customers where they are going. Talking shop, I suppose. It's great, I love it.

I spent two weeks ago in Porterville. Good time to catch up on my reading. I read a very good book about the origin of some of the foods we eat in Omnivore's Dilemma. I definitely will be doing more research on what I read.

Early last week I was working in Merced at the Cancer Center, and Friday I worked at the Treatment Center in Porterville. Now those of you who are my Facebook friends and/or follow me on Twitter, you heard that I had lunch with a certain doctor. Yes, it's true I did have lunch with him, but my sin of omission was that I was not the only one he took to lunch. There was five of us all together. I would not have minded having lunch alone with him, but alas, it was not to be.

It's time to pull out the bike again. I've been invited to participate in a LiveSTRONG Challenge. A century bike ride in July that is a fundraiser for the Lance Armstrong Foundation. I want to do it. But I'm scared. Not of the 100 miles. I'll be able to do that defintely. It's the fund raising part that scares me. Those skills suck. So if I do decide to do it, please look kindly and favorably on my pathetic plea for your money. If you also see me out on the loop (up Auberry, down Friant) say hi and throw out some encouraging words for a fellow cyclist.

That's pretty much it. Getting ready for Thanksgiving. I'm baking my yams again. The kids love it. It's all the high-fructose corn syrup that goes in it. This will most likely be my last year baking yams because I'm on an anti-high-fructose corn syrup (HFCS) kick right now and I'm massively reducing my intake. It's been very hard since it's nearly in everything that isn't raw food (fruits, veggies, meats/seafood). One good thing that's come out of this is that I haven't had a Coke in almost 13 days. Amazing since I am a serious Coke fiend and it has been my biggest single weakness in every attempt to lose weight over these years. Another amazing thing is that I am currently not even tempted in the slightest. Even another amazing thing is that in these past almost 13 days, I have lost weight, without really trying. The things that make you go hmmmm.

Okay, I'm out. Off to Merced again tomorrow. Going to be doing some casefinding at the path lab.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!!!

Love, Yvette

The Quick and Dirty

2008-11-07T20:53:00.000-08:00

The main reason I am giving you the quick and dirty update is because I'm going out of town next week for work and I will be gone all week. Good thing cats are easier to leave with a sitter than kids!!!

Work has been busy. Every October is a major reporting deadline. Hospitals report to the central registry (me), we report to the state registry, the state reports to the feds in Washington D.C.- okay, technically Virginia. So, since Half Dome I've been working with my head down trying to get all my cases in before what is known as a "call for data". It's the first step in all studies and trials. That is over and now we start a whole new cycle of investigation for the new reporting year.

Halloween was a blast. My costume this year was Ugly Betty. I sooooo rocked the costume. For those of you that don't know, my family takes Halloween very seriously. We plan our costumes months in advance. This is how serious we are. I am already thinking of what I want to be next year. I have to think of several possibilities because I won't know exactly what my situation will be next year. I might be single, I might have a boyfriend, I won't know until then. We have a costume contest with prizes, and I have found that partner costumes fair better than an individual costume. I actually won a prize this year! I won third place. Second place was Granny and Jed from the Beverly Hillbillies, and first place was Mr & Mrs Homie the clown. Their schtick was hilarious. This year was a pretty good year for me because I ended up wearing my costume for three parties. I've never gone that many before. It would have been one more, but my shift at REI was cut.

Speaking of REI, business has been slow, so I have had zero hours. I'm not hurting for money, but I am a little bummed that I'm not earning any Christmas money for gifts just yet. I'm certain once we get into the Christmas season my hours will pick up. I miss my co-workers. I'm pretty much there to hang out with all my friends than to actually earn some money. One of my co-workers has left to take a position at our Encinitas store. I will miss her, but I'm excited about the potential future road trips. Of course this is a huge leap of faith on my part. My car does not like to drive south. It only knows how to drive north, but I have friends down in LA I miss and want to see them soon. Especially before Jenny's wedding date!

Back to Half Dome. It's going to be a reoccuring theme in this blog. I should just rename my blog The Blossom and the Half Dome :) I have a tentative date set for August 2009, but it will all really come down to when campsites are available. I want definite summer, so storms won't be as much of an issue, and later so the water level is low enough that the Mist Trail won't be so Misty and therefore slippery. I will keep you posted as that develops.

I thought I was going to have to cancel my gym membership but it turned out that I didn't have to. I'm glad because I'm going to train right this time, and I really do still want to make it to the top of the climbing wall. I don't know why, but I just do. I may never make it out to do trad climbing out in nature, but at least I want to have some climbing skills.

This kind of brings me to a new topic so to speak I'm contemplating bringing to my blog. Key word CONTEMPLATING. This thought absolutely terrifies me. Two of my favorite blogs are Fat Cyclist and Ragamuffin Soul. Both of these blogs have tackled the weight issue. The original goal of Fat Cyclist was to chronical Elden's (aka Fatty) effort from going from a fat cyclist to a thin one. He called this tool humiliation. Carlos at Ragamuffin Soul recently renamed his weight loss topic Ragamuffintop Challenge. Carlos called this tool public accountability. Sounds less painful but just as vulnerable.

I don't know, it's a terrifying prospect. It scares me on several levels. One, that I have to admit to all the weight I gained over the last ten years. Two, what if it's not enough and I'm just not disciplined enough to do this. I've already failed at Weight Watchers twice. But... there is so much I miss: *insert heavy sigh here* I miss dancing, terribly. Oh you cannot imagine how much I miss it. I don't need to quit my jobs and move to New York and audition for a company. If I was physically able to take a class once a week, be it ballet or modern, it would feel so wonderful to move like that again. To express, to emote, like that. Words- and grammar- don't come easily to me. I can't find words to express what are whole thoughts in my head, which is why I talk so flipping much. I'm better with body language which is why my emotions are so transparent. Yes, I'm rambling.

Okay, back on subject. Another thing I can't help thinking about is the fact that I wanted to lose twenty pounds for Half Dome and didn't. I keep thinking that had I been disciplined enough to lose the weight, it would have made me fast enough to make it to the summit. It's an agonizing what-if. I love dancing and I love hiking and I love facing my fear at the climbing wall. I hate that my body is not able to do what my spirit wants to do. On a side note it also really sucks that I don't fit into any of the clothes I sell at REI. Our largest sizes in the store are a 14-16. Extended sizes are available online for the REI brand clothes but it's not on all items. But I want to wear the other brands too.

Well that's pretty much what's going on with me. Oh, wait. I forgot something. After Half Dome I went to the California Academy of Sciences. It’s a really cool place if you’ve never heard of it before. It’s a natural history museum, an aquarium, a planetarium, and now they’ve added a rainforest exhibit. Back in September CAS reopened after having a new building built. It’s green and very recycled, and I love it. I have pictures, but I haven’t been able to get around to formatting them. Well, I’m going back tomorrow, because I really like the place, and I’m taking my niece Sarah with me. I’m excited because I love sharing educational stuff with “my kids” even though it goes in one ear and out the other-- Proof they are my sister’s kids and not my own.

Here’s a Halloween picture of me as Ugly Betty:

Love, Yvette

Of Course I Asked For It

2008-11-05T07:49:00.000-08:00

An interesting thing happened on the way to work today. I stopped by my 7-11 that's right around the corner from my office to pick up a cup of coffee and a newspaper. As I was serving my yummy cherry cappucino I could hear a dude complaining about the outcome of the presidential election. I wasn't paying attention to what he was saying, but he was upset and therefore loud, so it was hard to ignore him. All I heard was: "Blah blah blah... I can't believe Florida voted for him... blah blah blah... He has ties to the Russian mafia... blah blah blah... People just fell for it because he's charismatic... blah blah blah"

I felt really sorry for the cashier, poor girl. The guy looked like the type that would stand there and talk her ear off until someone told him to stop. An object in motion will stay in motion until acted upon by an external, unbalanced force. And, quite frankly, she looked like the type of girl who didn't want to be rude and ask him to stop.

I guess that would make me the unbalanced force. Unbalanced force- yup sounds just like me ;)

So I put my stuff on the counter in front of him, forcing him to step back from the counter. I said in my uber-polite voice (The voice I use when I'm trying to sweet-talk my way into an uncooperative doctor's medical records), "I'm sorry, but I have to get to work." He said, "That's okay, I understand, I have to get to work too." He talked through my entire transaction, but I wasn't listening. He ended with, "You have a good day sweetheart." I turned to him, flashed him my awesome smile and said, "I will, because it's a beautiful day." Before I got to the door, I turned to him -- and yes, this is where I asked for it-- I said, "Don't be a sore loser, it's not cool" then walked out the door.

Of course the dude followed suit. As I was unlocking my door he said to me, "If I were a sore loser, I'd probably call you a bitch right now, but I'm not." To which I replied still in my nicey-nice voice, "You just did. Have a good day sir, and God bless you." To that we both got in our vehicles and drove away.

Yeah, uhm, wow.

Love, Yvette

Hi! I'm Back!!!

2008-10-22T20:15:00.000-07:00

Starting on a tanget. Bones isn't on tonight, so I'm watching Pushing Daisies. It's cute!

Man oh man! It has been a million years since Half Dome, it feels. It has been a challenge to return to my life. Truthfully, it has been a challenge to return to my life. I came back a mess, somewhat in pieces, because I didn't make it to the top. Fortunately, I came back in big pieces, not shattered, so I know I can be put back together again.

I know life is full of color; but sometimes I get stuck in black and white thinking. Half Dome was one of those moments. Do or do not- there is no try. I did not go up to Yosemite to try hiking Half Dome. I went up there to do it. Failure was not an option on the table. Yes, there was fear, but it was fear of failure more than anything else to be afraid of. More than my fear of heights, spiders, and blue M&Ms. I would have eaten a whole bag of blue M&Ms and stepped on a spider (I can't kill spiders, I have to be rescued) if would have avoided me my epic fail. The fact that the last 400 feet (the cables) are the scariest and most dangerous part of the hike goes to show that I was willing to fight through my fear of heights to get'er done.

There's more to be said, but Criminal Minds is coming on and tonight's episode has Wil Wheaton in it.

But don't worry, I'm okay. What doesn't kill me, makes me stronger. I'm already working on a plan, for Half Dome 2: The Rematch! :)

Love, Yvette

PS- My Yosemite pictures are up. They suck, but they are there. Take a peak if you haven't already. Hit my Flickr link!

Pictures

2008-10-07T22:01:00.000-07:00

My whole two pictures from my Half Dome trip are up at Flickr now. Check it out. Link is on my list on the right ----->

Love, Yvette

PS- Hub sighting on Sunday. I saw Vera Guerrero from high school!! Her name is Kennedy now, but she looks pretty much exactly the same!

First/Last Glance

2008-10-06T19:50:00.000-07:00

Yeah,yeah, yeah, I'm still thinking about it. I will be for a while. A bad thing, because I like to obsess. A good thing, because it shows me that I haven't given up. I will try again, and I will make it to the top.

Through the hike, all I could see was the backside of Half Dome. Coming around a bend, this was the first glance of Half Dome from the side. When I got to my stopping point, I did not want to take any pictures. I did not want any documentation of my failure. On my way back down, I started cooling down, and when I returned to this particular bend, I changed my mind.

So this picture is a picture of a little further back than as far as I had gone.

Love, Yvette

Sorry For the Communications Blackout

2008-10-04T17:46:00.000-07:00

My cell phone epic failed me on this trip. I could only squeeze out one tweet, and I wasn't 100% sure it went through.

So in a nutshell, I did not make it. Missed it by that much. For those of you familar with the trail, I had my epic fail at the base of the final staircase. About a mile from the very top. I felt totally tapped, and I still had to make it back down. I had hiked for about 8.5 hours already, and regardless of where I stopped, it was still only half way. And to make things more hopeless, there was a storm rolling in. So unless I totally booked it - which I absolutely could not- I wouldn't be able to beat the storm to the summit.

I'm just giving you a recap, I need time to recover physically and emotionally. The emotionally part, those of you who know me can remember how upset I get when I do not have a favorable outcome. And unfortunately, there are very few picture of the trip. I'm just glad I came home with my camera. I wanted to chuck it over the side of the mountain.

Love, Yvette

One Day and Counting. I'm

2008-10-02T13:29:00.001-07:00

One Day and Counting. I'm out of here. Wishes and prayers, please.

Two Days and Counting....

2008-10-01T21:43:00.000-07:00

Just before 10am. Everything looks good and promising.

Just before 4pm things get iffy again.

Depending on how my action list goes tomorrow, this may be my last post before my journey. I would love to finish my countdown, but I have a lot of things to accomplish tomorrow morning.

The weather has me nervous. There is no guarantee of good weather. If the weather is bad, we won't hike. Man o man, I do not want to imagine how disappointed I will be if that happens. It's supposed to rain on Saturday, hard. That is going to be fun, but I admit I would be willing to put up with some Saturday rain in exchange for a beautiful Friday.

Another slight bummer is that I'm not taking my tent. :( Since we have limited space available in our campsites, I've agreed to share a big tent with others. Boo.

I can't believe the time has come. I can't believe it's already here. These past 3 months have flown by so fast, it crazy. I'm excited, and to a certain degree I still can't believe it's actually happening. Maybe part of me thought that I would never actually do it. I still don't quite believe it. It will start feeling real to me tomorrow when I'm in the Valley.

So just in case you don't hear from me tomorrow, wish me luck, and say a prayer for me. I'm going to need all the help I can get. :)

Love, Yvette

I Love You Tube

2008-10-01T08:49:00.000-07:00

Amy and Jenny, this one's for you!

Love, Yvette

Three Days and Counting....

2008-09-30T22:22:00.000-07:00

At least the sky is improving. Top picture is at 12:30 this afternoon. I've been checking the park site and NOAA, things should definitely be clearer by Friday. I'm getting soooooooo excited!!!!!!

This bottom picture is at 3:45 this afternoon. It's looking good. Wow, I can't believe we're at three days!!!! Sigh, I'm excited.

Today I made a promise to Carlos, owner of my favorite Half Dome video, that if I made it to the base of the cables, that I would continue on. It's a promise that I really want to keep.

I feel that as my days are winding down, that my posts are getting lamer and lamer. They are. It's because I am running out of things to say. Do you have any questions for me? I guess if you want, you can ask me any questions about my trip and I'll try to answer before I go. I really can't think of anything else.

Love, Yvette

Four Days and Counting....

2008-09-29T23:09:00.000-07:00

See this picture? This is a web cam shot from today!!!! Not cool, not cool. This sucks. I’m keeping my fingers crossed. If we have clouds like this on Friday, chances are we won’t hike. There is no ascending the cables in inclement weather. Lightning strikes Half Dome every month of the year. People have died up there from ascending when they should not have. So the sun better shine on Friday!!!!

In 99% unrelated news, it’s been one year this past Saturday (9/27) that I found Carlos’ Half Dome you tube video. It was a year ago that I first voiced (to you) my desire to hike Half Dome. I think that’s kind of cool.

In 115% unrelated news I thinks it’s kind of strange that I know four Carlos’.

Oh, I forgot to tell you. Yesterday I got an employee appreciation award at REI. (Read: employee of the month) Not too shabby, eh?

Love, Yvette

Five Days and Counting....

2008-09-28T21:13:00.000-07:00

Getting closer, getting closer!!! Had my meeting tonight, we worked on organizing campsites, car pooling, timing and plans. As of today, the cables are still up. My friend who was on the ledge is still in. Now it's packing time! Woo-Hoo!!!

Love, Yvette

Six Days and Counting

2008-09-27T23:26:00.000-07:00

This is my wonderful cat. I love her so much. Here she is showing me how much she loves me by clawing my arm. She's like that. Okay, I just didn't have any good Yosemite pictures left to show you.

We have a trip meeting tomorrow because there's a few of us going, so we need to coordinate. Getting excited! Need to start my food shopping!

One of my friends who's on this trip is out on the ledge right now. I'm doing my best to keep her from backing out. I know just how she's feeling.

Unfortunately, the weather is now making me nervous. According to NPS, the cables stay up on the condition of good weather until October 14. So, if the weather changes, they can pull them down earlier. Tonight's weather report implied rain to the east of us. I don't know what that means for us. So please keep your fingers crossed for me that the cables stay up. Thanks! :)

Love, Yvette

Seven Days and Counting....

2008-09-26T22:42:00.000-07:00

In only seven days, this will be accomplished. I'm starting to get really excited. So excited that my pinky fingers are tingly. I can't explain it, when I get excited and nervous my pinkies tingle, and when I get really upset my thumbs get tingly. Well today it's all about the pinkies!

Around noon today, I was looking at the clock on the wall of my office. I was thinking to myself, "In a week, at this time, I'll be at the top of Half Dome." It's an exhilarating idea. I'm excited about finally going for it. Finally. Over ten years in the making. Not quite 15 years, but definitely over 10.

I've been reading though a book these last few days- and no, not the Half Dome book. This book is one from the Dan Millman series. There was a phrase in the book that strikes as very relevant as I'm embarking on this journey and its deluge of emotion. It goes like this: "The only time you have a chance to show courage, is when you're afraid." Makes sense, because it reminds me of a similar quote that I cannot remember it exactly. "Courage is not the absence of fear, but the acting in spite of it". I guess if you're not afraid, it's not courage.

Well, I'll definitely have the opportunity to show courage. :)

Okay, bed time. I'm tired.

Love, Yvette

Eight Days and Counting....

2008-09-25T21:30:00.000-07:00

Before I start today's post, if you haven't done this yet, please re-read yesterday's post and then read the comment. I was pretty surprised. Wow.

Today has been a good day. Good stuff going on and it was a good distraction from my usually scheduled Half Dome drama.

This evening I had dinner with an old school friend, and surprisingly, I did not talk her ear off about Half Dome. When I came home, I watched the season premiers of two of my favorite shows: Ugly Betty and Grey's Anatomy. Loved them both!!!!

Oh, and in other excellent news, my favorite natural history museum is reopening this weekend. The California Academy of Sciences in San Francisco has gone under a big, big renovation. After Half Dome, I plan on taking a visit first chance I get :)

LOL, okay, I'm not quite drama-free this post. Every paragraph, including this one, includes the words Half Dome. Oh the insanity! Sigh, I tried.

Love, Yvette

Nine Days and Counting....

2008-09-24T20:28:00.000-07:00

Okay, I had a moment of weakness today. I temporarily crawled back out on the ledge durning my lunch.

I bought a book about Half Dome back in June after I found out that I would be doing the hike. It's a really good book and I recommend it for any first time ascenders. (free plug here) The book is called One Best Hike by Rick Deutsch. It goes over preparation and what to expect on the hike. I read the sections on history and preparation, but I put the book down before reading the other sections. Being so close to game day, I decided that it would be prudent to finish the rest of the book.

Today while my lunch buddies had an always awesome lunch at Casa Corona, I went to Fajita Fiesta. I've come to really love their roasted chicken plate from their lunch menu. I highly recommend it. If you like garlic, there is a garlic chicken version. Exquisito! It's diced garlic, so the chunks are big enough for me to pick them off and eat them straight. :) I love garlic. Anyways, I brought OBH with me to read while I consumed my garlic with chicken.

I read through all the sections: Trailhead to bridge- Mist Trail- Vernal Fall- Silver Apron Bridge- Nevada Fall- Little Yosemite Valley- The Split- Little Spring. The next section is where I got myself into trouble. View of Half Dome and Sub Dome. Oh, I forgot to mention that the book has pictures. Well I came across a picture that looks like this. I just linked to the picture because it didn't feel right to copy and paste it since it's not my own picture. The vertigo commenced surreptitiously, then exploded into full on "Ledge Mode". You guys get that I'm afraid of heights, right? Well, what got me worried was the thought that if a picture of Sub Dome made my head spin, what would actually being in front of Sub Dome do to me? Not a pleasant thought at all :(

Explaining Sub Dome: Sub Dome is the right shoulder of Half Dome. The top of Sub Dome is the base of the cables. What looks like tiny bushes on Sub Dome are actually full sized trees and there is a series of narrow switchbacks going up to the top. According to the book, over 800 steps, oh, and no railing. Yeeeaaaah.

I worried through the rest of my lunch and for about an hour afterwards, then I was able to calm myself down. I'll get through it, I will. Ha, with all this drama I'm putting in my head, someone might think that the hike isn't worth it. I believe it is. Totally.

Love, Yvette

PS- If you're at all considering hiking Half Dome, I highly recommend Rick's book. I'm pretty sure you can find it here. ;)

10 Days and Counting....

2008-09-23T22:45:00.000-07:00

Today is my last day of double-digit counting. Still nervous, still excited. Now it's time to start getting all my stuff together, making food lists, making sure I'm familar with all my new equipment, i.e. water filter and tent. In my training I never made it to the top of the climbing wall. It's okay though, even though I haven't made it to the top yet, I did gain some vertical confidence. That is more important to me at this time- I'll need it on the cables.

On a tangent, fall is here. I love autumn, it's my favorite season of the year. I love the changing of the leaves, and how the sky starts turning slightly orange in the late afternoon. I like how it stops being so flipping hot and it becomes enjoyable to be outside in Fresno again. When the weather gets just like this, I start to want to ride my bike again. I really want to ride my bike this week, but I don't want to jeopardize my trip by crashing or pulling a vital muscle.

Hopefully, once Half Dome is put to bed, I can turn my focus back to the wall and back to my bike. It will be nice.

Love, Yvette

11 days and counting….

2008-09-22T23:35:00.000-07:00

CAVEAT: If you have no interest in hearing about Half Dome you should avoid my blog at all cost until around October 8th. It’s pretty much all I’m going to be talking about from here until the trip is over and sufficiently documented.

For the record, I am no longer on the ledge. Thank you Steve, and all my other friends for your kind and encouraging words.

Of course, once again, I am at a loss for words. I think that being at home gives me writer’s block or something.

I’ve been thinking a lot about Half Dome (duh) and this whole thing is turning comic to me. I’ve wanted to hike this piece of rock for over ten years. What has always held me back was the fact that I was out of shape and over weight. I always told myself that I was going to get serious about getting back down to (at least close to) my dancing weight. I was going to train serious and get some hiking skills.

It never happened.

Now, in eleven days, I am going to attempt this thing. I will at least go further than I have ever attempted to go before, and I am in the absolute worst shape of my life! I am embarrassed to admit I weigh the most I have ever weighed ever. Working two jobs, I am the least active I have ever been. And here I am, going to do what I feel is the physically hardest thing I have ever done so far in my life. This is going to be harder than my previous metric centuries (62 mile bike rides)

Of course now I have this crazy paradox going on in my head. I want to only think positive, think success. I visualize myself on top of that rock, crying tears of happiness (you know me, big crybaby), dancing on top of my world (for now), singing Solsbury Hill. At the same time, I want to assure myself that if I don’t make it all the way, it’s not the end of the world. Yet, I feel that telling myself that, I’m sabotaging myself and setting myself up for failure. So, having said that, I CAN do this, I WILL make it to the top (and back down).

In my moments of weakness, I am scared. I am going to go semi-nerd on you for a second. I cannot accurately describe the scene because I am not a Ringer, but if you’ve seen Return of the King, you should be able to piece it together and get what I am trying to say. It’s the scene where Theodin and the army come to the aid of the city of Gondor. The army comes over the ridge and looks down on the freaking huge Orc army laying waste to the city. The emotion I am talking about is the look you see on Eowyn’s and Merry’s faces. The look that clearly says, “Dear God in Heaven what the heck did I get myself into?” The look that says I want to turn and run away, and run away fast, but all the exits have been removed. After that look, Eowyn puts her arm around Merry and tells him, “Courage Merry, courage for our friends.” To me that statement says it all. It says, “we’re scared, but we’re going in anyways”. That’s exactly how I feel about this. I am scared, but I am going in anyways.

Yes, I know I am being melodramatic. That’s what I do. But you also know that you cannot roll your eyes at me and call me a drama queen because that will piss me off and I’ll go all Raiders on you and burn down your house. So just put your arm around me and say, “There there now, everything will be alright.”

I’ve created a special Half Dome playlist to give me inspiration as I am mentally preparing myself. It is music to inspire me to keep moving on my hike when I feel like I don’t have the energy to continue. I’ve even made a playlist I titled Panic Button, for if I should hit that brick wall. Unlike really hard bike rides, there are no rest stops with helpful volunteers willing to refill your water bottles, and DEFINITELY no broom wagon to carry you back to the start when your body can’t go anymore. Well, there is someone who can come get you, but later you’ll get a bill in the mail for $20,000+ for the use of the medi-vac helicopter. All the food I will eat in 12-14 hours I’ll be carrying myself, and I will be carrying a water filter with me for when (not if) I need more water. For those of you who are not familiar with the route, the only source of safe water is at the bridge below Vernal Falls, 0.8mi into the hike. When more is needed, it must be filtered from the Merced River.

So, in conclusion of this evening’s rant, I share with you my playlist and my favorite youtube video of the hike.

Half Dome Playlist
Dare You To Move- Switchfoot
Viva la Vida- Coldplay (yes, I know the lyrics are sad, but the music is upbeat)
Alive- P.O.D.
Don’t Stop Believin’- Journey
Solsbury Hill- Peter Gabriel
Right Now- Van Halen
Beautiful Day- U2
Don’t Break This Rhythm- Peter Gabriel
Where the Streets Have No Name- U2
Red Warrior- The Last Samurai- Hans Zimmer

Love, Yvette

Someone Please Talk Me Down Off the Ledge

2008-09-16T10:07:00.001-07:00

17 days until Half Dome

I am not ready.

Tomorrow I am hiking up to Nevada Falls. Not for a training hike, but to see how bad it's going to be for me.

I'm scared.

I'm scared and I'm upset with myself for not being ready.

I keep telling myself that it's about the journey, not the destination.
(but I want the destination)

Maybe I'll feel different on Thursday.

I just hope I bring enough water. I should start drowning my kidneys now.

Love, Yvette

Happy New Year!!!!

2008-09-12T10:11:00.000-07:00

Okay, it's not New Year's to you, but it's definitely a new year for me. There's been a shift that feels like a year in the making. Instead of mourning the time behind me (The years that felt like wasted years. The paths I took that I felt led me in the wrong directions. The milestones that I felt I should have marked, but didn't), I'm excited about the time in front of me. I'm excited about what I might learn, experience, accomplish in the next 365 days. This past year I've definitely let go of some heavy baggage, stuff that held me back from reaching my potential. I feel good, I feel lighter, I feel relieved.

Now, don't get me wrong. It hasn't been all that bad. In spite of past "shortcomings" and "failures", I do have a lot to be thankful for. And I am. It just that, usually, on my birthday I say "this is going the year that I finally get it right". Whatever "it" was supposed to be. I think my problem was that I didn't know what "it" was.

Now I'm laughing. This post has gotten too serious for the occasion. All I'm trying to say is that it's my birthday today. I'm happy and life is wonderful. It's my day to be silly, and I am. I'm wearing a crown at work, and I plan to wear it tonight at REI. Life is good.

Love, Yvette

PS- Check out my Flickr site. I uploaded a few of my pictures from San Fransisco and my first SEKI trip this year. The sets are not complete yet, but they will be.

This Post Has No Title

2008-09-11T22:31:00.000-07:00

While I was at work today, I had this post all written in my head. It was going to be awesome. You see, tomorrow is my 35th birthday. It’s a whole new chapter in my life. So I was going to reflect on the past and somewhat on what’s in my head.

Of course, the minute I got home from work, it all left me.

I’m looking forward to turning 35. I’m excited. I feel on the precipice of a new adventure. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Love, Yvette

PS- Tomorrow I'm going to keep an email open so I can jot things down as they come to me through out the day. Maybe that will help me hold on to my ideas.

A Big YZ PSA

2008-09-08T10:50:00.000-07:00

And no, I'm not talking about a prostate-specific antigen test! ;)

My cousin John sent me this link. I think it's awesome, so I thought I would share it with you:

The Gratitude Campaign

Check it out.

By the way, on Friday I stood up to cancer. Did you?

Love, Yvette

Stand Up To Cancer

2008-09-05T16:01:00.000-07:00

On tonight at 8:00!!! Watch it!!!

Love, Yvette

Hub Sighting

2008-09-01T19:06:00.000-07:00

I'm starting a new post label called REI is the Hub of the Universe and start logging all my sightings. Today I saw Louis.

Who is Louis?

When I was in the 7th and 8th grade, I went to Edison-Computech. I didn't stay there for high school because Hoover had the better band and I've been a band geek since Mr. Ayala handed me my first flute in the 4th grade.

Anyways, in the 7th grade I had Ms. Roberson for geography. Louis was her teacher's aide. He was an 8th grader. So essentially I haven't seen Louis since 1986 and I recognized him.

I am creepy, scary, and have serious stalker tendencies ;)

Love, Yvette

Back But Briefly

2008-09-01T17:01:00.000-07:00

I forgot that I'm going to be out of the office and out of town for this week. Yup, back in P-Ville.

Today is Labor Day. I didn't have to go into the office today, but I am scheduled to work at REI in less than 30 minutes. Needless to say, I am already here, typing on the breakroom computer.

A year ago today, well, approximately--- Labor Day 2007, I entered my store for the first time. We were still under construction and the store was filled with fixtures and boxes of inventory. I spent this whole week having my front line training, and would spend the weekend and first part of next week stocking the store. We had our soft opening on my birthday, September 12th, and had our grand opening on September 14. You can read my memories here. Just scroll down to the very bottom and read your way up. I can't believe it's been a whole year already (sort-of). You know me, I'm sentimental.

In other news, I saw the movie Peaceful Warrior on Friday. Good movie in my opinion. Now the part that freaks me out: I can't remember where I heard about it. I remember seeing a print ad for the movie, but I can't remember where. I'm going through old magazines and I can't find any sign of it anywhere. I don't really know anybody who would see a movie like this and tell me about it, and I'm pretty darn sure that I read an ad for it. It's strange because I had no idea what it was about when I threw it on my queue many months ago. The movie was adapted from a book I have never read nor ever heard of. Two Saturdays ago (maybe three) I had a customer come through my line with a Peaceful Warrior hat on. Told him how I had wanted to see that movie, but it hadn't come up through my queue yet. He told me that he knew the author (who, at that time, I had no idea who he was). He said the book was more detailed and definitely worth reading. I told him that I would bump it up to the top of my queue so I could hurry up and see it so I could read the book (I will always try to see a movie first, books are SO much better). After that exchange, I promptly forgot about the whole thing and I never renumbered my queue. Friday after I got home from my shift at REI, I was going through my mail and spied the red envelope. I thought, "oh, I wonder what movie came in for me". Guess what movie it was. Yup, it was Peaceful Warrior. Strange coincidence, isn't it? Well, I was just going to watch the first 30 minutes of it while I was getting ready for bed, and I ended up starting the movie from the beginning and watched the whole thing. Good movie. Saturday after work I bought the book. I've been dying to read it, but I'm saving it for P-ville. I'll need something to do after work in that tiny, tiny town. :)

Love, Yvette

My Apologies....

2008-08-28T09:05:00.000-07:00

I emailed a blog post on Friday, and of course I just assumed that it went through. Well, it didn't. So here is a "re-print":

I'm Going Slightly Mad (Friday, 08/22/08)

One thousand and one yellow daffodils are dancing in front of me. It finally happened!

Ok, not really, but I feel like I'm losing my mind.

I'm taking a week long blog vacation, thru Saturday August 30.

Why? Because this week I don't trust anything that is going to come out of my mouth. I'm thinking crazy thoughts that I don't know if I can trust them. Crazy thoughts like quitting my day job and going back to school. I just found out last night that someone I know was diagnosed with breast cancer, and it's a little too much to think about right now. Half Dome is in 41 days, I'm not ready and I'm afraid I will let that stop me. My bike is gathering dust again, and I can't decide if I care or not. I think I want to pursue taiko as a serious hobby. Wild stuff like that.

It's probably just stress. I have reporting deadlines quickly approaching, and back to back out of town trips.

Grrrrr. I want to go hiking. I need some soothing green trees and ferns and the smell of pine. And some really big mountains thrown in for good measure. I need a mental health day up in Yosemite Valley.

Love, Yvette

Because I'm Getting Excited About Saturday

2008-08-18T17:50:00.000-07:00

Band reunion party. Thinking about band and my best friends. Them good ole days....

Can't wait.

Love, Yvette

Personal Wow

2008-08-17T17:45:00.000-07:00

This isn't really a post, per se. Just something I wanted to write down so I don't forget it. Have you ever been thinking of someone and then you run into them? It happened to me today.

For the last 3 Sundays, I have not been scheduled to work. Pretty nice if I do say so myself. I've been using the time to recover from training and amazingly keep hurting myself. Sucks, but in a way, I think it's kind of funny. I'm just weird like that. Also been doing laundry, that one task that never really gets complete for me. Anyways, since I didn't have to work today, I didn't set my alarm. I slept in today, I slept until 6:30!!!!

As I was lying in bed, I thought about what I was going to do today. I decided that I was going to go to mass today. As simple as that, "I think I'll go to mass today." I pretty much stopped going last year when I got the job at REI. Oh yeah, I celebrated my one year anniversary with REI on August 3rd. I can't believe it's been a whole year!!! Anyways back to my story. So I woke up, got dressed and left. I didn't even tell anyone where I was going, I think everyone just assumed I was going to work.

So I drive to my church and park in the parking lot across from the church. I'm walking across the street and I notice a woman getting out of a lime green new-style VW bug. First I notice the bug, then I notice the curly blond hair. Wow.... she.... looks.... just.... like............

Ruth.

Ahhhh....... Ruth Ruth Ruth Ruth Ruth Ruth Ruth.

Who is Ruth? Ruth is a professor of Modern Dance at Fresno State. She was my mentor, and she meant so much to me during my days I was a dancer. And I will freely admit that I was a lousy dancer. Not simply in terms of technique-- I wasn't bad, but I wasn't professional-grade either. But more speaking in my focus and my discipline. Now that I'm older and wiser, I can honestly admit that back then I didn't know who I was, or what I wanted. Hey, it's life, we grow. I wouldn't show up to class for days, but I wouldn't out right quit. Eventually I did quit, I changed my major, but I still took class with her. She knew I struggled in my head. She used to tell me "If you can get to the studio, you can thrive. Dance is the healing." She introduced me to the spiral, which is a personal symbol for me, even still. If you used to read my Blossoms blog, it was Ruth who introduced me to Taiko music.

I loved her, heck I still do. She was like a mom to me when I was estranged from my real mom. I wish I had listened to Ruth more, and talked to her more. I haven't danced in over a decade, but there hasn't been a week that went by since that I haven't thought of her at least once.

Needless to say, it was really good to see her. I gave her a big big hug and we chatted on the way to the church. We sat in different areas, because I sit in my "family pew" and we continued talking after mass. It was really REALLY good to see her.

That's all.

Love, Yvette

Anemia Strikes Back!

2008-08-14T20:34:00.000-07:00

But it was my own fault. When I went to San Francisco, I didn't take my iron pills with me. So I totally depleted my iron levels being without my vitamins for 3 days.

If you used to read my Blossoms blog you've read my tales of woe when suffering from anemia. It's the same ole sh...tuff, different blog ;) I'm tired. Do you hear me? I'M TIRED!!!!! I'm ready for bed by nine, and getting up at six is near impossible! Coffee and Red Bulls are not helping.

If you are not familiar with my Blossoms blog, the short story is this: My family has retarded blood. In my family, you either are severely anemic, or you have lupus. Lupus is not cool. Lupus can kill you. My mom and aunts and a few cousins have Lupus. I have anemia. I've been anemic since I was 16. I take two iron pills a day along with a regular multi-vitamin that has iron in it. That much iron you think I'd be dying of hemochromatosis, but nope, still anemic enough that the Blood Center won't take my blood. I've given up. Last time I gave blood, I turned blue. Blue doesn't look good on me.

In spite of it all, the trip to San Francisco was TOTALLY worth it. I've never had so much fun in the city in my life. We walked the Golden Gate Bridge, went to Lush, we went to Chinatown and I bought myself a tourist-grade jade necklace ($15) and a mah jongg set. I found the San Francisco Taiko Dojo store in J-town. IKEA!!!! I finally went to Ikea!!!!! Wow!!!

I already miss the view from the hostel, the sense of community, the cool bay air, the fog, all the cyclists, the kick-butt bus system (I drove hardly at all). Of course it has to be over one hundred degrees here in Fresno when I return.

The last time I was in the city (January?) I felt aggitated. I thought maybe the city had finally lost it's hold on me. Being in the city reminded me of what I like about it. Even when I was out being a tourist. I'm not sure if I would still want to live here, but I sure still like visiting :)

Yeah, this one was one big ramble. I'm tired and I feel like I've taken benadryl. Must...sleep.

Love, Yvette

Oh Yeah....

2008-08-12T16:04:00.001-07:00

One more thing. The thing I couldn't let out of the bag just yet. I got the green light and then quickly forgot about it.

I, The Big YZ, am going to be a great-aunt.

*insert disbelief here*

Allie, my niece, and her fiance are going to have a baby in March.

I'm over the inital shock, and now I'm like "whatever"

But you know, YOU KNOW, who is going to be the first one laughing at them when they realize that it's harder than they ever imagined and they probably should have waited a little bit longer.

Whatever. Yeah, I'll be going to the baby shower, but only because mom pulled the mom-card. But no games for me. I don't do games, and I don't do pretty and cute.

Love, Yvette

I'm Back (I Think)

2008-08-12T14:59:00.000-07:00

I made it back alive from San Francisco and Berkeley. We had a blast. Yes, I did make it to the Berkley store- they are bigger and have a wider selection. But I cannot lie about this, Fresno's team is WAY nicer! No, seriously, we are. Alright, I must be open to the fact that maybe they were having a bad day, but still.

I'll elaborate more in coming days but the quick and dirty recap is: Wednesday- drive up, UC Berkeley, Telegraph Ave., check in to hostel on Ft. Mason, 1st attempt at GGB (too late). Thursday- GGB (DONE!!! 43-Things check), Haight-Ashbury, Union Square, Chinatown. Friday- North Beach, Ghirardelli Square, Japantown, drive to Ikea in Palo Alto, then home.

I worked on Saturday, no big deal.

Sunday I had off, so I went to the gym. There is a whole post in itself here, so I'll just say that I'm really sore from climbing for now.

Monday was Monday, and today is today. Hopefully I'll get some computer time tonight so I can elaborate properly.

I have tomorrow night off, so I'm trying to get together with a high school friend. Maybe we can do dinner. It's been a few years so we have lots to catch up on.

Sorry for the radio silence and for being too cheap to use the computers at the hostel for ten cents a minute.

Love, Yvette

PS- one month til my birthday people!!!

Where's Yvette?

2008-08-07T10:26:00.001-07:00

In the middle

Quick hi. Sorry forgot to

2008-08-07T09:22:00.001-07:00

Quick hi. Sorry forgot to tell everyone that I'm in SF. And w/o net. I really need a superphone like my more hi tech friends.

Life Update

2008-07-28T15:49:00.001-07:00

Just a little status update on things....

Mom is out of the hospital and recovering. The special hospital bed she was in made her feel great, when she got home and had to sleep on a regular bed, things weren't so great. Her first night, she was in a lot of pain, but it is receding now. She wouldn't have been able to make the trip to Yosemite with me this Wednesday. I told her not to worry about it because we wouldn't have been able to go anyways.

In case you didn't know, there is a big fire north of Mariposa. The fire is so bad, they had to cut the power into Yosemite Valley. I hear it's pretty smokey over there right now, so even if I were willing to brave it without the consession stands, the air is really bad and not worth the case of black lung.

So, instead of going to Yosemite on Wednesday, I'm going to go back to SEKI (Sequoia/Kings Canyon). It won't be as challenging as hiking up to Vernal Falls (my original plan), but at least I'll get some miles in, and be at elevation. This will give a chance to break in my new day pack. I pro-dealed myself the Osprey Stratos.

http://www.ospreypacks.com/Packs/StratosSeries/Stratos18/

Sorry, emailed this one in, so was unable to create a simple link.

Speaking of SEKI, I'm still working on formatting my pictures. I don't have a lot of time to do it at home, so I do a little bit at a time. In my opinion, my pictures are kind of lame. Just cut-off pictures of big trees since they are so tall I can't fit the entire tree in my lens. Once those are complete and loaded, I can get to my Yosemite pictures. I really like my Half Dome pictures from Washburn and Glacier Points. Stay tuned! :)

I'll have another anouncement next week-ish, but I'm not at liberty to disclose it yet. I did leak it at Facebook, but that's because no one will really see it. I just don't want to let the cat out of the bag prematurely.

Love, Yvette

Two Posts, Two Posts....

2008-07-25T08:37:00.000-07:00

Two posts in one!

Post One: Mom

Well, mom is in the hospital again. On Monday, she fell. She landed square on her butt and hurt herself. An ambulance was called and my mom was taken to the hospital. Scans showed that she fractured her L1- one of her vertebra. Unfortunately, due to some serious overcrowding at Fresno Regional, she spent over 24 hours on a gurney in the hallway of the ER before they could get her a bed upstairs. I'm not happy about that. She presented around 7pm Monday evening (I was at work) and wasn't admitted until 11:30 pm Tuesday night.

Yesterday, mom had a procedure done to repair the fracture. They literally inject some type of cement into the bone to seal up the fracture and it worked!!! She's doing much better and has complete relief of pain. Once she is cleared by the physical therapist, she'll be free to come home. Yippie!!!

I was nervous. Still am. You see, Mom and I were going to go to Yosemite for the day this coming up week. She has never been, and it's on my 43Things list to take her. I want to before it's too late. My last two attempts were postponed because she had hurt herself. I think I've mentioned this before, she is very fragile with advanced osteoporosis and she walks with a walker. So if she falls, it's usually serious. So, once she get home and rests for a day or so, she'll be able to tell me if she will be up to going. Don't worry, I never planned to take her on a hike, I just wanted her to see the sights. So we'll see. I'm just thankful that the procedure went well or else she would have been on bed rest for months, and it would have been too late.

Part Two: Like Mother, Like Daughter.

Yesterday, I fell. I'm not as graceful as I used to be. I was walking to my car from the office and I wasn't watching where I was going. We have two doves that hang out in the car port and sit on the roofs of the cars. I was looking at one of the doves and looking around for a nest hidden somewhere, my left foot (which was already hurting) hit an uneven section of pavement- a "repaired" pothole, and I went flying. I landed on my left side, banging up my thigh, tweeking my calf just a bit, and making my foot feel even less happy.

Thankfully just minor damage. Soreness and bruise. I'm more embarassed than anything. I am a little worried about my left foot though. My arch is weak and that foot has a prounounced pronation- meaning that it rolls in big time. My foot has been hurting since I went climbing. I don't think it's broken, or that I tore something, more like just a sprain. But I do get an occasion burning sensation on my arch when I'm walking, so that's not good. Now my foot hurts just a little more. I've been icing it in the meanwhile, and I'm temped to find an ankle brace for added support: Something light that will fit in my hiking shoe. I feel I should rest up a bit, but I'm on a good roll and don't want to lose my upcoming hiking time. Only 69 more days until Half Dome!

On a sad note, a friend told me earlier that Randy Pausch passed away this morning, losing his fight with pancreatic cancer. I'm sad. Another not-so-gentle reminder that life is short and to love hard and live life to the fullest. Do what you like, like what you do (Life is Good).

Love, Yvette

Musical Interlude

2008-07-25T08:28:00.000-07:00

Please enjoy this musical selection while I'm working on my next blog post.

Enjoy!
Love, Yvette

Pain Is Weakness Leaving the Body

2008-07-21T12:03:00.000-07:00

Yvette booked way too much stuff into her weekend and is now paying for it.

And to make things worse, I'm staring at an 8x10 postcard of Half Dome as I'm typing this.

Friday I worked most of the work-day in Porterville at the cancer treatment center. My partner and I returned to the office early because the medical records people weren't able to pull all the charts we requested, so we finished up earlier than normal. This was cool for me since I had to work Friday night. I guess I pretty much worked all day Friday, plus the drive to Porterville and back. It's never a fun drive, nothing to look at. I just don't like driving south ;)

Believe it or not, I had Saturday-day off. I guess if you follow me on Twitter, you would believe it. I didn't have to be at work until 5:30. It was both good and bad. I usually open every Saturday, the open until 5:30 shift, so this was a real fluke. It was bad because my zesty friend Korey (hat-tip to the Hoover Jazz Junkies) was having a party that evening and I had to miss it. It was good because it gave me time to do stuff that I normally don't have time to do during the week like get an oil change and wash. I did that in the morning, then came home and watched Billy Elliot. I had wanted to go to the climbing gym and get some vertical time in, but I was -- well, quite honestly, scared-- so I was procrastinating. I eventually made it over, in spite of the fact that the whole way over I was praying for it to be busy, so I would have to come back home. Well, sometimes prayers don't get answered, and it ends up being even better.

I got there, and it wasn't busy. Damn. So I grabbed gear and headed to the wall. I decided to ask one of the guys that worked there which wall section was the easiest wall to work on. I'm pretty glad I did. His name is Chris and he's a climber dude. He spent around 15-20 minutes with me, and it was awesome. I explained to him why I was there, the whole heights and Half Dome thing, about not being able to get back down off the wall, not being able to get all the way up. He gave me some great mental pointers and we were working this whole Last Samurai-no mind approach. It was awesome. I went from climbing back down, to letting go screaming with my eyes closed back down, to letting go with my eyes closed, to letting go. Up to yesterday, I was never able to let go. I always climbed back down, which is so much harder because you're trying not to fall. I wanted to keep going higher, but I used up all my energy and eventually my arms failed me. There is a reason that most climbers are 110lbs.

After that awesome workout, both physically and mentally, I ran home showered and changed for work. Work was good, we were super busy, and I would have been able to fly right through it except that I was exhausted, my arms were spaghetti and my feet were hurting from climbing. Either it's because I was using muscles in my feet I didn't know I had, or they were just exhausted from holding my weight up on such tiny holds.

At the co-op we sell national park passes. I sold one, and I'm supposed to hole-punch the expiration date into the cards. I had absolutely no arm strength, so I had to have the customer help me. My arms hurt like my very first taiko workshop.

After work I came home and crashed. Went straight to bed and slept like a rock, no pun intended.

Sunday morning I woke up sore. I didn't have to work, so did I rest up and try to recover? No. I went to Yosemite. I wanted to get some hiking training in. Let me tell you, going for a hike on feet that already hurt, is not the brightest thing I've ever done. Driving a stick shift with sore arms isn't too bright either, but I was going, and I went.

It was warm, humid, and off-and-on sprinkling in the valley, but I didn't care. I wanted to do a small hike to check my current level of non-fitness (the word I really want to use is gauge, but I hate the way it looks when I spell it- it always looks wrong. I really think it should be spelled gage, but it looks wrong too, but only because I know it is wrong.) I started at the trailhead and made my way to the bridge that goes over the Merced River below my favorite waterfall- Vernal Falls. It was a smooth incline, paved, no steps. I forgot how steep it was. I had to stop 4 times to catch my breath and slow down my heart rate. Not a good sign. I made it to the bridge in 50 minutes. Ideal time for Half Dome is 30 minutes, if you want to do the total hike in 10 hrs. My time goal is 12hrs, not including the time spent at the top (and I'll spend some time there because I have a list of things to do at the top.)

I rested, snacked and refilled my Camelbak. Of course I took pictures, which will be posted next week. (I'm scheduled at REI every night this week except Tuesday.) I sneezed and a U.S. Marine said bless you, and I gave him a hearty thank you with my best smile :) (Don't tell my family, because we're Army, but I've always had a thing for Marines. Must be that damn uniform.)

I was very tempted to continue on upward to Vernal Falls, which was only another mile up the hill via the Mist Trail. But I didn't trust myself to have enough energy to make it to the top plus make it back all the way down. Going down is easier than going up, but it's still not easy. So I made it back down, in 20 minutes, stopping to rest my knees at flat sections. I need to pro-deal myself some trekking poles. I have my eye on a set of Black Diamonds. Along the way down, I saw a customer that I had seen the previous night at REI. We chatted briefly as he and his friends were on their way up.

Once I was back at Happy Isles, I decided to walk around a bit before taking the shuttle back to the village. I ran into an office colleague, Lesley, and we chatted for a bit. I then made my way to The Fen, which is a marsh I'd never been to before, and took pictures. While I was taking a picture, I heard the snapping of twigs behind me. I turned to look, and I saw a coyote walking by. I'm glad it didn't care for me, because he was close enough that he could have caused me some serious damage if he wanted to.

By this time I was hungry, so I shuttled into the Village for some lunch. After I ate, I walked around for a bit, bought a postcard at the Ansel Adams gallery, found a book I want to read, and then bought a pair of earrings for my mom.

I was tired from walking, my feet were killing me by now, but I had one more stop to make- Glacier Point.

The drive up wasn't complicated. I really wanted to check the handicapped routes for my mom. When I went up in April, the road was still closed. I stopped at Washburn Point, took lots of pictures. Man, you think Half Dome is huge when looking up at it from the valley floor. Looking straight across at it, it's MASSIVE. I then continued on to Glacier Point.

Now, I could have totally left this part out, because I'm embarrassed. But it's humbling, and humility will be my strength in this endeavor.

At Washburn Point, you get a direct side view of Half Dome; you don't see any part of the face. At Glacier Point, you are a little more in front of it, so you see front and side view of the rock.

I was standing there, near the amphitheatre, looking straight across at Half Dome. And it started sinking in. The reality of my situation. This was no longer theoretical. This was no longer a someday. This was no longer in the same category with when I lose weight, when I get married, when/if I get my Master's degree (still not decided).

This is real. This is happening. This is happening in 74 days (Sunday) whether I am prepared or not.

I was scared. No, you're not listening to me. I. was. scared.

I was less scared on the wall yesterday. I was scared- the kind that makes the world spin and you think you're going to throw up, then pass out.

The tears were welling up in my eyes. I had to turn around and walk away. I almost backed out on the spot and was on the verge of having my first panic attack since 1999.

The thoughts in my head: What am I doing? What did I get myself into? What have I agreed to do?

I had to talk myself down from the mental ledge in my head. It was pretty bad, and sad too, now that the crisis has passed.

I just don’t want to fail. I know it wouldn’t be the end of the world, and it’s not like if I don’t make it, I’ll never have another chance again. I just don’t want to fail.

Love, Yvette

My New Favorite Book

2008-07-16T21:57:00.000-07:00

I just picked this title up at Borders. I wanted it so bad, I bought it in hardcover. I never buy hardcover. It's a new release.

I can't wait to read it. :)

Love, Yvette

Fatty Shops at REI!!!!

2008-07-16T07:49:00.000-07:00

The Fat Cyclist shops at REI.

Every now and again, when it comes up in my t-shirt rotation (yes, I rotate my clothes), you may find me at REI wearing a pink t-shirt under my REI vest. The front of that shirt says FatCyclist.com. You will find a link to that blog on my sidebar if you're not doing the reader thing. It's an amazing blog that will have you rolling on the floor in hysterics (if you're into cycling, that is), and leave you (ok, maybe just me) in tears as the author shares his experiences as his wife fights recurrent breast cancer. (No HIPAA violations there (hopefully): public knowledge, and not California data). Also, if you haven't made the connection, I'm wearing the 2007 Fat Cyclist jersey in my profile picture. You can see the whole jersey at my flickr page. And yes, I've pre-ordered the 2008 jersey too!

Being a big fan, and a clydesdale myself, I was giddy to read Fatty (a.k.a. Elden Nelson) stopped by his area REI to pick up some Clif Bars. WOO-HOO! Okay, the post was more about what he bought than where he bought it, but still, made my day. I hope his cashier was as delightful as I am (you would know, if you ever heard my closing announcment).

So even if you aren't into cycling, read his post on sports nutrition. I know you'll like his thinking, and maybe you'll even giggle a bit.

The Next Big Thing in Sports Nutrition

Love, Yvette

Vacation Over

2008-07-07T23:07:00.000-07:00

Back to the grindstone.

First I enter my alarm code to the building backwards and set off the alarm. Then I forget my database password and lock myself out. What's the opposite of "Eureka"?

Now, I'm off to lands far away. Okay, not that far away. But still, living out of a suitcase for the next 3 days. When I was in college I used to think that it would be cool to be a consultant traveling from place to place. Now I'm not so sure.

But it could be worse. I could be in a car without air conditioning. It's supposed to be 108-110 tomorrow.

That would suck.

Okay, off to pack.

Love, Yvette

The Gauntlet is Down!

2008-07-02T10:06:00.000-07:00

A funny thing happened on the way to the gas station yesterday....

I stopped by REI to pick up a new TSA-approved lock for my luggage that is going to Michigan without me (I was one lock short). Of course as I flow through the store I say hi to all my wonderful co-workers. I say hello to Alyson, totally awesome Outreach Specialist (she goes to schools and such) and we begin to chat. Of course I'm horrible at recounting conversations verbatim, so I am totally paraphrasing.

Me: "Hi Alyson"

Alyson: "Hi Yvette"

Me: "How's it going?"

Alyson: "Good. Hey, we're doing Half Dome the first weekend in October. Kim got a campsite, it will be Kim & Terry, me & Tyler, Heather (blah blah blah didn't hear the rest)... you in?"

Me: *jumping and screaming like a little girl* "I'M IN!!!!!!!!"

I AM SO IN!!!

So now the gauntlet has been thrown down. The challenge is on. This is part of my 43 things, and to cross it off my list, there is another item I have to cross off first.

Now most of you are thinking, Half Dome, so what? I've already done it x times. I'd bet money that 98% of you could turn around and hike this thing tomorrow. I, right now, cannot. I am out of shape, overweight, and deathly afraid of heights (I can't even stand on a chair to change a lightbulb). so this is a VERY big deal for me. I have wanted to hike Half Dome since I nearly died (of out-of-shape-ness) on my first hike to the footbridge below Vernal Falls in the mid 90's. It's been over 10 years.

So what is that other item I have to cross off my list? #5 I have to climb to the top of the climbing wall at my gym. Haven't got there yet. (Want to see my complete updated list? See link in sidebar --->). I get about half way up, and then freak and come back down. I'm doing this because of the cables. I'm afraid to hike all that way, get to the base of the cables, and then chicken out and not be able to go all the way.

When I do this, I am going all the way. It's put up or shut time. So the challenge is on: I am losing 15lbs to help my knees out, for hiking. I'm riding my bike more, for cardio. And I'm getting my ass to the top of the wall, for confidence.

I am ready, the sky is not the limit.

Love, Yvette

P.S. Here is a link to the awesome youtube video of Carlos Whittaker and friends doin' the 'Dome. LINK

Quickie Hi

2008-07-01T11:33:00.000-07:00

A very busy weekend so far. This is just a quick recap until I can get back to blogging.

Saturday: Baby Shower (don't ask) in AM, then pool party at Carlos' in the PM. No details. What happens at Carlos', stays at Carlos'.

Sunday: Worked all day, then had coffee with my good friend Sara V. after a spending spree in the used CD section of Rasputin's. I love that place. I really need to visit an Amoeba, I'm told I would really like it.

Monday: Took off to King Canyon/Sequoia National Parks. I haven't been there in such an embarassing amount of time. Took lots of pictures. Will work on them this week since I'm on vacation from the day job. Still working REI, so no more out of town trips for me this week.

Today: Just chilling this morning because taking off this afternoon to drive my mom and sis to SFO. They are going to Michigan without me this year :( I couldn't commit to go. First I wasn't sure about my job, then when all was cool, I had the car fiasco to deal with. Once I thought I could, tickets jumped from 325 to 800 bucks. I just can't do that high of an amount.

So that's my weekend recap, hope y'all had a good weekend too! :)

Love, Yvette

Pieces of Flair

2008-06-25T09:04:00.001-07:00

The black and white Say Anything button says "John Cusack has given me unrealistic expectations of men" :)

Hee hee.

Love, Yvette

I Like Shiny Things!

2008-06-25T08:53:00.001-07:00

I am self diagnosed ADD and therefore easily distracted.

I am currently distracted by Facebook. Myspace has all my family and REI friends, but Facebook has all my friends from high school. And, if you know me, you know that I loved high school. I am absolutely giddy that I've made contact with people I haven't spoken to in years.

Another wonderful (to me) aspect of Facebook is this one little application called Pieces of Flair. You get it, I know you do, you got the memo about the TPS reports. For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about need to A) get Netflix, and B) add Office Space to the top of your queue. This application is a simple cork board, and you can add buttons to it.

Yes, I was one of those dorks who had a denim jacket and added buttons to it. Yes! I wore the denim jacket with the denim mini-skirt and carried the denim purse. And yes! My bangs went straight up in the air. I LOVED THE 80'S!!!!

Yes, I thought I was Molly Ringwald (with a really good tan). I was Andie looking for my Blane. I was Samantha looking for my Jake Ryan. Okay, now I'm really getting off the subject here.

All I am trying to say is that I really like the Pieces of Flair.

If I can, I'll try to post a picture of my board for you to see.

Love, Yvette

I Can't Believe I Did It....

2008-06-20T23:56:00.000-07:00

Man oh man oh man. I still don't believe it myself. I am shaking my head in disbelief.

I'm not sure I'm comfortable doing it. I'm not even sure what I am doing. But I did it.

I joined Facebook.

(what have I done?)

Yosemite Part II

2008-06-19T21:09:00.000-07:00

Hi, I'm back to finish the story :)

Actually, I was wrong about lunch. It wasn't sloppy joe's, it was a bbq pulled-chicken sandwich served with spicy cole-slaw. It was spicy, but it was oh so good. Or maybe I was just oh-so-hungry. For dessert they served brownies, yummy brownies. Food tastes so good when you've been working hard.

After that, we were released to do as we pleased! Carlos, Jeremy and Tara went climbing. Alyson, Melissa, and I were going to go hike around Sentinel Dome, but we were invited to go up to Tenaya Lake with Belinda and her parents who were in from Florida. I'd never been up to the high country before so I jumped on this chance fast!

We left the valley and drove up Tioga Pass, stopping along the way to take pictures. It was a lovely drive. As we drove up, the ground went from a lush green to a dirty white. There was still snow on the ground! The first time we stopped above the snow line, we had to put on our jackets. It was cool up there! Not cold, but cool and breezy. Felt good :)

We drove up to Tenaya Lake, and hung out for a while, then looped back to Olmstead Point. I took as many pictures as I possibly could. Hopefully you've checked out my pictures. Yes, they suck. I need to take a photography class, and learn how to use a camera.

Back at camp, we regrouped for an end of event potluck. Just us "REE-ers" and the mates we adopted during our stay: Anna, Scott, Scott, and other-guy-I-can't-remember-his-name. Adam? No clue. Anyways, it was good eats, Belinda prepared a FEAST!

After that, it was time to tear down and return to Earth, return to real life, return to the SJV. Return to The No. Can you tell I wasn't ready to come back?

It was a very good weekend. I'm going to volunteer next year and try to stay all weekend long!

Love, Yvette

PS-If you missed the link to the pics the first time here it is again LINK

I Was Bad....

2008-06-17T22:13:00.000-07:00

Really bad.

Today is Tuesday, and Tuesday means family night. Tonight, I ditched. I told my family that I was invited to a lecture.

That was a lie.

Every Tuesday, REI has free clinics open to the public. Pretty much on any REI-related (activity) topic. Tonight a speaker from Yosemite Mountaineering School was giving a slideshow and discussion on big wall climbing: El Capitan and Half Dome. Oh, and it's the 50th anniversary of the first ascent too, way cool.

Since our grand opening back in September, I had been to exactly ZERO clinics. There were a few I wanted to attend, but didn't because of family night.

But I couldn't miss this one. I just couldn't. So I didn't.

I'm bad.

Love, Yvette

New Pictures

2008-06-17T08:45:00.000-07:00

I do intend to finish my Yosemite blog and tell you my bear story (nutshell: I saw a bear), but just a little busy taking care of my mommy right now. She drives me crazy, but I love her and I'm not willing to lose her now.

I was able to upload and format all my pictures from the trip. Hopefully I will be adding more as I get them from my friends. Please enjoy: National Trails Day 2008 The slideshow function is really cool, FYI. :)

Love, Yvette

Family Emergency

2008-06-16T14:17:00.000-07:00

I had to disappear for a bit. I had a family emergency. My mom was in the hospital this weekend- her heart condition was aggravated. Things are stable now and my mom is back home, thank goodness.

I'll be back to blogging soon.

Love, Yvette

Something I've Learned

2008-06-12T10:55:00.000-07:00

Don't put anything on your gift/wedding registry unless you really, really, want it.

The world is full of smart-asses, and Lord knows I am one of them.

A couple who recently got married put a kayak on their registry even though they live in a tiny apartment and have no storage space. The smart-ass groom thought it would be a funny thing to put on a registry because no one in their right mind would buy a $600 kayak as a wedding gift, right?

Well, smart-ass people usually have smart-ass friends. So, Mr. smart-ass friend bought the newlyweds the kayak and a set of paddles.

So guess which smart-ass cashier got to do the smart-ass return? Yup. Me.

That's what I get, for being such a smart-ass, I guess. :)

Love, Yvette

Small Teaser

2008-06-10T22:09:00.000-07:00

Oh, and the bears didn't stay far away from me. Details to come....

Love, Yvette

I'm Back!

2008-06-09T13:05:00.000-07:00

Hello! I'm back from the mighty Yose. I had a great time. It was just overnight, but man, oh man, it was so what I needed. I didn't want to come back, but I had to work yesterday so I did. Today I took a vacation day, no plans made for today originally (since I didn't know if I would have a car or not) but tonight I'm having dinner and then a movie with girlfriends.

We drove up Friday- oops, I forgot to mention, who "we" are. "We" are Alyson, Melissa, Carlos, and me. We drove up Friday and met up with the rest of our crew: Belinda, Jeremy, Terra, and Belinda's parents. We also hooked up with some climbers from town who wanted to join us. It was all good. We set up camp, and sat by the camp fire for a while. (There is a side story here that I'm saving for another post).

Oh the stars!!! The stars!!!! I love looking at the stars!!! Every year I take the kids (my sister's kids) up the hill to look at the stars. I didn't last year, because optimum time was during my cousin Tony's wedding so we missed out. So it's been a while since I'd seen them.

After star-gazing, we went to bed. I forgot my beenie cap, so my head was a little cold. Other than that, sleep went well. I woke up at 5:30, out of habit, and tried to stay quiet as long as possible. I got up, walked around, sat outside in the quiet for a while as long as I could, before it was time to really get up and attack the day's objectives.

Everything sounds different up there, everything smells different, everything looks different. When I'm up there, my mind calms down, and I can simply be. I like that thought: simply be. I loved that quietness of the morning. Reminds me of when I used to get up early and have a cup of coffee and watch the sun rise.

Okay, now, the reason I was there in the first place. It was National Trails Day and some of us from REI had volunteered to go to Yosemite to pick up trash on the trails. We got in for free and was allowed to camp in the valley for free too.

After breakfast, which was provided to us, we split up into teams and were each assigned a section of the Valley Floor Loop. My team worked on the section that runs under El Capitan, just around two miles. My team included my friend Melissa, Belinda's parents, a couple from San Jose, and a kid working towards his Eagle Scout. We had fun, got great views of climbers on the big wall, and found some odds and ends stuff. Mostly ciggarette butts, small candy wrappers, kleenex. Best find goes to the pair of discarded men's underwear and a pair of flip-flops.

Done by noon, we headed back to camp for lunch, which was also provided to us. Sloppy Joe's, which were surprisingly good.

-End of part one-

I'm just publishing what I have so far because I don't want to take forever. I'll finish tomorrow-ish. I've already uploaded some pictures, but not all. I'll provide a link again, when they are done.

Love, Yvette

Going Offline

2008-06-06T17:56:00.000-07:00

I'm on my way to yosemite now. I'm so excited. We're going to have a great time!!!! Wish me luck and hope the bears stay far far away from me!!!!!

Love, Yvette

On Vacation

2008-06-06T07:51:00.000-07:00

It is currently 7:52am as I begin to type this. I am sitting in front of my computer wearing my pjs, drinking coffee with a biscotti. Obviously, I am not going to work today. I'm taking some vacation time.

I have vacation issues. I accrue it, but I don't use it. I took a week off 3 years ago to go to Michigan for my cousin's wedding. Then nothing. Then last year I took off a week for another cousin's wedding- you may remember because I blogged about it on my Blossoms blog. Since then, nada, rien, niente, nothing.

At my work, there is a limit on how many vacation hours you can have. Maximum of 200 hours (5 weeks). When I hit 195 hours, I take a day off, and then reaccrue. I literally have to take a vacation day every pay period so I don't stop accruing. So on those days, what do I do? Usually I have to work that evening at REI, so I can't go anywhere. So I do laundry, do some cleaning, go for a short bike ride (5-10mi), catch up on my Netflix (I really don't know why I bother anymore). Once I did manage to make it to Monterey for the day- right after a storm, the waves were beautiful. I've been doing this for about 3 months now.

But this time is different. My Friday-Saturday schedule is open at REI, and I was invited on a volunteer project with the co-op. So I'm going camping with some co-workers. In Yosemite!!! Woo-Hoo!

I don't know if I'll be able to take pictures, since labor is involved, but we get to get in free and camp for free! Woo-Hoo! I'm excited. So today is packing and getting my gear ready. We leave tonight. I'm excited.

Wish me luck :)

Love, Yvette

Fifth Time's a Charm

2008-06-04T09:21:00.000-07:00

Rental car for two weeks: 634.37
Putting gas in your sister's Volvo so she'll drive you to work X 2: 110.54
New air conditioning unit for a 1999 Saturn SL2: 2166.72

Being able to drive with the AC on full-blast while it's currently 63 degrees outside:

PRICELESS

(OK, technically it's 2911.63, but who's counting?)

Love, Yvette

Doing Some Other Writing

2008-06-02T20:41:00.000-07:00

Hi peeps

I've been busy writing, but not on this blog. Over the weekend I got a text message from Wil Wheaton and he said to make time for your friends. So I decided to start writing my friends. Just little notes to say hi, I haven't forgotten about you. Because, you know, I'm such a bad friend that I go long periods of time without contact. It doesn't help that none of my long-time friends live in Fresno anymore. The closest is my Steveo and his family. They live in Madera, but he works at Camp Roberts (Roberts?) so he is a very busy man.

Now, if you're my friend, and you haven't received an email from me. You just haven't yet. I had to work this weekend, so I wasn't able to do any writing yesterday. Today I finished a long and deserved letter to my dear Deanna. I owe her so much I need to just hop my ass on a plane and go visit her, but I can't do shit until my car issues are resolved (YES MY CAR IS STILL IN THE SHOP- WTF!!!!!!) So don't give up. I'm not giving up. And I'll return to my regular blogging soon- I'm not scheduled to be out of the office this month.

Oh, and if you're wondering about me receiving text messages from Wil Wheaton. It's true. But it's lamer than what you might imagine. I follow him on Twitter.... :)

Love, Yvette

Yosemite Pictures

2008-05-28T08:27:00.000-07:00

I've finally finished formatting and uploading all my pictures for my yosemite trip. You can view them here:

Yosemite Pictures

Love, Yvette

Hi

2008-05-22T20:42:00.000-07:00

If you had trouble reading my anniversary post in your reader, I'm sorry. It was a post via email, and for some reason the font color didn't go through correctly. It's supposed to be black in your reader, and the green in the website. So I tried to fix it myself, to disasterous results. So if you can't read it in the reader, just go to the website.

I am sad. So very sad.

My car is in the shop. It's been in the shop since May 8th. For me, that is a very long time. It's a big repair, and a very expensive repair. I don't speak car, so you'll just have believe me that it has something to do with my air conditioning. I heard terms like compressor and evap-something coils. Or was it core? I dunno. I don't speak car. Anyways it also involves parts you can't just call Decker for. So that is what I'm waiting on.

Because I had to travel to Porterville and Merced since my car went into the shop, I had to get a rental. Talk about expense on top of expense. Not happy and I can't do it anymore, so tomorrow evening, once I return from Porterville (again), I'm turning the car in and going bicycle. Hopefully this funky weather will stay mellow and I'll be able to ride in peace. I have new pedals and tires, so I don't have an excuse not to ride.

Okay, time for the season finale of Grey's Anatomy. Gotta run :)

Love, Yvette

Picture test

2008-05-22T15:38:00.001-07:00

Just wanted to try the cell phone.

This message was sent using the Picture and Video Messaging service from Verizon Wireless!

To learn how you can snap pictures and capture videos with your wireless phone visit www.verizonwireless.com/picture.

To play video messages sent to email, QuickTime® 6.5 or higher is required. Visit www.apple.com/quicktime/download to download the free player or upgrade your existing QuickTime® Player. Note: During the download process when asked to choose an installation type (Minimum, Recommended or Custom), select Minimum for faster download.

Last Test for Today

2008-05-22T13:14:00.001-07:00

Olha que coisa mais linda

mais cheia de graca

e ela a menina que vem e que passa

num doce balanco a caminho do mar.

Moca do corpo dourado do sol de Ipanema

o seu balancado e mais que um poema

e a coisa mais linda que eu ja vi passar.

(black)

Happy Anniversary to ME!!!!

2008-05-22T11:42:00.001-07:00

I just realized that today is my 7th anniversary with the company I work for. I started out as a temp-to-hire program assistant (read: Secretary) in March of 2001. I was just kicked out of Cost Plus World Market for refusing to join the union, and I needed a job desperately. I walked into a temp agency on Monday March 12 for assessment and interview. Didn't go so well, because it was during those days of rolling blackouts (thanks, Enron) so I couldn't take the required computer tests. I returned the next day for my tests, and I kicked ass on the MS Office test. (Well, duh.) On Wednesday I was called, I had an interview on Thursday. After my interview, I returned home and started packing my bags. I was going out of town on Friday to Palm Springs with my friends Kat & Mouse. It was a big, huge, weekend party, and I was going to get my grove on. Friday morning while I was waiting to be picked up, the temp agency called and offered me the position. I accepted. My start date was that coming Monday the 19th. So I went to Palms Springs, drank lots, danced my ass off, and got back into town Monday morning around 3am. I slept for around 4 hours and then got up, got dressed and reported for work at the CHC with the Breast Cancer Treatment Fund.

I have been with the CHC ever since. Not my longest employment, but by far my most productive.

I was a temp program assistant for 2 months, and then I was offered permanent employment with benefits. So even though I've been here since March '01, my official anniversary date is May 22, 2001.

I remained a program assistant for a few months longer, then I was promoted to program benefit specialist, dealing with patient billing. Knowing advanced database concepts has really helped me in my career. About a year later BCTF morphed into a new program called Care Coordination and Navigation Services (CCAN) and I morphed into doing full time database administration. I loved it, but it was not without its heartaches. I was in a technological power struggle with a colleague, and I was hating it.

One day, in late 2002 I was approached in the breezeway of my office complex by a mysterious woman in a black leather jacket. She asked me how things were going in my program. We chatted for a bit and then she told me this: "I've heard good things about you, we'd love to have someone of your caliber on our staff". Okay, I admit it, I bought it. Hook, line, and sinker.

And, okay, she wasn't a mysterious woman. I knew who she was, she was a program director for a different program in the company. But she did have a black leather jacket.

Shortly thereafter, an internal posting went out for the Cancer Registry of Central California, for a DC/QC I (data collection/quality control specialist). I applied. I was qualified. I had computer knowledge - I do have a BS in Information Systems from the Sid Craig School of Business at Fresno State, thank you very much. I had anatomy and physiology education from being an ex-dance major and having gone to massage school. And now I did have limited knowledge about breast cancer from my time with BCTF. I love to learn, always have, always will, so I knew I could learn whatever I needed to for this position.

I have no idea how many other candidates there were, but I was offered one of two positions open. The other position went to Melissa, who became my officemate, partner in crime, Romy to my Michelle. We are both Virgos, so things work out quite well. We are VERY understanding of each other. She is mommy to my niece Brianna who was born back in December, if you remember me mentioning it on my Blossoms blog.

I started with CRCC on 1/1/03 and hit the ground running. I had computer programs to learn, and about 8 manuals to go through BEFORE I even became useful. In a nutshell I had to apprentice for two years, then sit for a national certification. I took that exam in March of 2005 and upon passing I became a CTR- a Certified Tumor Registrar. Ah, so THAT'S where that came from. Yes! (Once upon a time my email address was cyclegirlCTR, but people kept asking me if I was Mormon, so I had to change it.) Of course passing my exam brought another promotion, so that's how I came to be the DC/QC II you now know me as.

Been doing it ever since.

I have tried, unsuccessfully, to leave. I applied to different regions, hoping to get the hell out of Fresno, but I think the "Grand Tapestry" had a different plan for me. I tend to cause problems where ever I go (personally, not professionally), so many lives and other things were saved by me not going anywhere. I am full of energy, ideas, and passions, with a touch of ADD, so calm collected environments are not quite for me. I long for them, those Zen environments, but I can't survive in Zen alone. I crave chaos. And I crave peace. I desire creativity, and I desire organization. I am always bouncing around from one extreme to the other, which is why I'm always tired ;) Okay, that and having two jobs. Eventually, I hope, I will find happy medium and be able to co-exist peacefully and creatively in the space where both realms overlap.

Love, Yvette

Yosemite (Finally)

2008-05-17T22:54:00.000-07:00

Okay, let me preface this blog post with some thoughts. I was holding on to this post because I was trying to get it "just right", but then I realized, I'm going on a month holding this post, and it will be another six months before I can take some time to get it "just right". So, here it is, incomplete thoughts, bad grammar, and all.

Why? Check things out for mom. It's on my 43 things list to take my mom to Yosemite.

What? Drove down into the valley, hung out way too long at Bridalveil Falls, took lots of pictures at the creek. Drove around, walked around, took lots of pictures.

Stood under the veil- got properly soaked. Good thing I was properly outfitted. Drove the roads. Odd, not used to it. Used to parking and shuttling it around. Looking for parking and handicapped places. Then, since drove around so long, couldn't find parking :( After driving around some more, found parking near the infamous Camp 4. Shuttled to food then went to Lower Falls. Walked the handi route to see if it would be mom-friendly. If it's good enough for a wheelchair, then it's good enough for my momma's waddle. Moved the car to the day lot because could only park there until 6. Spent money at the gift shop like a tourist. Found a cute t-shirt especially for work at REI. If I think about it, I'll take a picture and post it.

Then TRIED to come home. I kept stopping. The views at sunset were stunning. From the moment I got in my car, to actually leaving-leaving, took about 90 minutes. Stopped to see Yosemite Falls, then El Capitan, Bridalveil Falls, then Half Dome from the other side of the tunnel (Wawona Tunnel). Of course once I finally got on my way, I got stuck behind a big tour bus going -10mph.

The drive from Fish Camp to Oakhurst was wild in the dark, and I was surprised by the full moon. I didn't even know there would be one that night. Once upon a time, I was very into the waxing and waning phases of the moon, but not anymore. But still, a big full moon is always pleasant on the eyes.

LOTS of walking. Not my normal "wear", but enough to break in the Merrell's. I've done some 5 mile walks, in both the Soles and the SuperFeet, I like the SuperFeet better. In honesty, I was hoping to be won over by the Soles, just because they have Ed Viesters name on them, but nope, this super girl likes her SuperFeet. (Mental note to self- need to do the write up on all the Chacos I bought).

Anyways, I stopped in Oakhurst for dinner, but was too tired to get out of the car, so I went through the drive-thru and then parked and ate in my car. What I found funny was that I wasn't the only person doing it. There was a man in the car to my left, and a couple in the truck to my right. I wonder if they all spent the day in Yosemite too.

Got home sometimes between 9-10 I think, then immediately downloaded my pictures. Of course I wore my shirt to work the next day. I couldn't wait, and now I'm just waiting to have another break in my schedule so I can go back. Hopefully with Mom. I want to go during the week, hopefully before memorial weekend. Because that's when tourist season starts. My goal is to go back for a total of 8 times before my pass expires, but with the price of gas, I don't know. Lately I've been paying 3.73-ish a gallon at Costco (as of 4/19/08), but I don't know how long they can keep it up (or down). 8 years or so ago, I was bitching about paying $2.50/gal. YOWZA. According to my high school senior scrapbook, gas at the AM/PM that used to be on Blackstone and Gettysburg near my childhood home was .89 for 87. But that was 1991. Yes, I'm O.L.D. (but my kind REI colleagues swear I'm under 30-- I love them!).

Enough talk about gas, it's too depressing. Here! Look at my Pictures: PICTURES It's not all the pictures, I'm still formatting them, but I will let you see what I have so far. Once they are all uploaded, I'll let you know.

Great trip, my only complaint is that I didn't drag anyone with me. I would have liked to have had my picture taken at the Tunnel View. I guess I could have asked one of the tourists to take one of me, but I swear (ok, not really) I was the only person there speaking English. Lots of other languages, most I recognized, some I didn't. And I love the black sock with sandals look-- NOT!!!!

Love, Yvette

Life is a Highway......

2008-05-13T07:49:00.000-07:00

Yup, this time to lands south. And in a rental. Car in shop- really long story :(

So once I get back into Fresno on Friday, I'll finish up my Yosemite post and finally get around to posting it, and then I'll tell you what happened to my car.

So in the mean time, check this out:

Love, Yvette

P.S.- And could someone please tell me why my left thumb/palm muscle keeps twitching? To be technical, it's either my Abductor Pollicis Brevis, or my Flexor Pollicis Brevis, my money is on the abductor....

Still Working on It

2008-05-06T17:32:00.000-07:00

Nope, I haven't forgotten about blogging. I do have a Yosemite blog written in a notebook, but I don't want to post it until I have all my pictures formatted and uploaded into my Flickr account. My blog post about it will have a link to that set.

So stay tuned. Oh yeah, if any of you my friends have Flickr accounts, link up to me. Right now I'm only linked to Tony (of the hardcore), so I look lame for having only one friend.

Love, Yvette

Hi, It's Me...

2008-04-27T20:48:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know, I know.

Life is topsy-turby right now, and I'm doing my best to preserve my sanity. The need to travel for my day job has suddenly increased due to staffing changes and availability, so I have found my travel time quadrupling. And being the stubborn person I am, I'm not changing my REI schedule. It is my sanctuary, my happy place, so I'm not giving that up if I can help it.

On a personal note, a colleague of mine at the day job is fighting recurrent brain cancer, it's hitting us all very hard. Harder than we are letting on. It's painful to know what we know. We know the facts, we know the statistics. We know the odds are not in our friend's favor. We had thought her chemo protocol had given us the miracle we had prayed for, but alas, it wasn't meant to be. She goes for her second surgery this coming week.

So I'm off back to Mo-town for the next week. My home away from home. I really never expected to get so much use out of my luggage. And I still can't believe that I haven't left the country yet either. Wow.

On a bright note, I did have last Saturday (not yesterday) off. I wasn't going to waste it, so I took off somewhere. I'll let you guess where (if you follow my tweets you already know where). I did take pictures, about 100 of 'em. Here is a teaser, once they are all formatted and the crappy ones tosses, I'll upload them to my flickr. But, not until I return from The Mo. Man, I really need a laptop (but I'm afraid of Vista!).....

Love, Yvette

(not bad, eh?)

Happy Birthday Mom!!!

2008-04-06T10:34:00.000-07:00

Yes! I'm still needing you,

Yes! I'm still feeding you,

Now you're 64!

I loves you Ma!

PS- For those of you who don't know my mom in real life, she is nothing short of a survivor. In her 64 years, she has had 3 strokes, 1 heart attack, has a defective heart valve, fought lung cancer, and lives daily with lupus and its accompanying rheumatoid artheritis. AND she can still throw a shoe across the room like no other Mexican mom in the state. Lucky for us her aim is now terrible. ;)

Happy birthday mom!

Love, Yvette

I'm Still Alive

2008-04-03T09:20:00.000-07:00

I just returned from Modesto straight into a SEER reliability study that's due at midnight tonight. It's not hard, just time consuming and so brain-frying that when I come home, I just want to curl up with my cat. So, after today, all should be normal. Learn more about SEER:
http://seer.cancer.gov/about/

Saturday, 9:00am, REI garage sale- MEMBERS ONLY!!!!!

Love, Yvette

Home Sw--uhh... Home

2008-03-26T23:05:00.000-07:00

I'm back, for now. I'll definitely have to return to finish my audit. I'll need about 4 more days to complete it.

I tired.

If I don't end up moving to Sacramento, I'm definitely looking into Mo-town. It's just slightly cooler (and I'm not talking the temperature) than Fresno.

Mental note to self for future blog topic: Lost 80's Live concert (that I'm missing) at the State Theatre.

*yawn* going to bed now.

Love, Yvette

Blogging Withdrawals

2008-03-25T21:41:00.000-07:00

I really need a laptop with a wireless card.
I really need to move out of Fresno.
I need better music.

From The No to The Mo

2008-03-24T22:07:00.000-07:00

I meant to blog this weekend, but I was busy...packing.

Yup, it's that time again, time for my road trips. This week I am in my home away from home, seriously. It's my annual path lab casefinding trip in the scary land of Modesto (you know, the place where people disappear). The only free computer I have access to is in the lobby of the hotel I'm staying in, so I pretty much won't be posting anything until I get back to Fresno, which will be...later. This is only one of many trips in my future. More back to Modesto, and I've added a new land to my adventures: Porterville (may I have a collective "ooooh", please). Well, at least it's not Bakersfield (yet).

Hope everyone had a good Easter. I had to work, but I can count the way it could have been worse, so it all turned out well. See you soon.

Love, Yvette

OUCH!

2008-03-21T11:19:00.000-07:00

This is what I woke up to this morning :(

Not good, especially since I have no idea why it happened. At least it doesn't hurt or itch (assuming it's not pink eye).

Love, Yvette

43 Revisited

2008-03-20T18:54:00.000-07:00

And one night (or was it day?)
I was awoken from a dream
I was dreaming of someplace like I'd never been
And I heard someone say
Someone's fallen in and they can't swim
So I leaned out and I pulled them in
And he was holding his head
And it was huge and shaped like a fish
And he slid down to the crook of the keel
And when I was sure he'd fallen asleep
I fell back to my reverie
--At the Beginning of Time by Jane Siberry

I've been meaning to get back to this list. My first edition of this list was back in 2006. You can read it HERE if you'd like. It's not required reading. I found it interesting that there were items on that list 2 years ago, that I don't care about anymore. I change. I'm still growing. I bet that 2 years from now, there will be things that drop off this new list. The items that made it on both lists I've bumped to the top, because, I guess they are core things. Things that may never change.

This new list has some new formatting, just for my personal organizing. You know how much I like cataloging ;)

Oh, and technically, I'm still missing one. :) Enjoy!

My 43...er...42 Things:

01. Donate Hair to Locks of Love X 11/17/06
02. Wear a Sari X 10/28/06
03. Learn Taiko Drumming X 12/10/06
04. Participate in a big charity/fund-raising project X 05/05/7 (Relay For Life)
the core list:
05. RIDE- Climb to Kaiser (and finish)
06. GET- My Passport
07. RIDE- A Century (a 100 mile organized bike ride)
08. HIKE- Half Dome
09. VISIT- Kyoto, Japan for the gardens and the blossoms
10. MEET- Lance Armstrong (yes, still)
11. SEE- Peter Gabriel in concert
12. LEARN- How to Play Guitar
13. LEARN- How to Make Sushi
14. VISIT- Deanna in Washington
15. MOVE- To Sacramento (In spite of everything, I still want to go)
16. RIDE- In a Bike Race
17. BE- A Bridesmaid (still hoping)
18. VISIT- The Grand Canyon
19. LEARN- Pointe (again): Take a Pointe Class
20. VISIT- Devil's Postpile
21. BUY- A Condo/Small House
the new additions:
22. SEE- The Aurora Borealis (in person)
23. WEAR- A Kimono
24. CLIMB- To Top of the Climbing Wall, AND GET BACK DOWN (I have serious heights issues)
25. SEE- Mt. Everest (in person)
26. VISIT- Pyramids at Teotichuacan
27. VISIT- Machu Pichu
28. VISIT- Egypt
29. VISIT- Death Valley (really visit, not this drive through at night shit)
30. VISIT- J-Tree
31. LOSE- Weight/Goal: 134 (not unreasonable, it's 20 over my dancing weight)
32. PAY- Off Student Loan (this is the one that feels least possible)
33. VISIT- Auschwitz (some things we should never forget)
34. LEARN- How to Tune-Up My Own Car
35. PET- A Tiger (a real one)
36. SEE- A Ghost (but just once)
37. LEARN- How to Scuba dive
38. VISIT- Take Mom to Yosemite (she's never ever been)
39. LEARN- Ballroom Dance- the Latin Dances
40. WALK- Across the Golden Gate Bridge and Back
41. LEARN- How to Do Cake Decorating.
42. VISIT- The REI Store in Seattle, WA
43. ???????????????????????????????????????????

What dropped off the list? Learning Japanese, Giving up soda, getting a tattoo, spending a weekend at a spa, learning to drive a motorcycle, going skiing, being published, writing a short story, taking a wine-tasting class, catching a fish, inspiring risk, introducing a couple, getting really good at yoga, and going to the chapel Madonna Del Ghisallo in Italy.

Does anyone else do this, or is this just my list fetish gone wild?

Love, Yvette

Hey! It's The Coffee Guy!!!!

2008-03-16T16:31:00.000-07:00

I keep telling you, REI is the hub of the universe.

Today I had a customer who recognized me BEFORE I recognized him!

Once upon a time, I used to go to Fresno State (I graduated over 7 years ago). While at Fresno State, I was a business major. Most of my IS classes were at the Peters Building. Inside the Peters Building was a little coffee counter run by Planet Java. I used to stop there daily for my caffeine fix. When I would go, it was always the same guy, day in, day out. His name was Ephiram and he was The Coffee Guy.

Well, Ephiram came through my line today, and he remembered me. He asked me if I went to Fresno State. I told him yes, but with a funny look on my face because it was a long time ago. He said something to me, I wish I could remember what his exact words were, but somewhere in there he said coffee and I said Peters Building. We chatted through the transaction, and then he left.

I was impressed that someone remembered me first, and I was glad to see him again. He was a nice guy back then (I'm sure he still is) and we used to chat between my classes. About an hour later Ephiram came back because he had to exchange something he bought. I told him that I was surprised that he remembered me. He said he was really good at remembering his customers or something to that effect, and then he floored me. He told me that I used to usually order the mocha or get a hot chocolate and ask for extra whipped cream. Damn, he's good.

And as further proof that REI is the hub of the universe, during my sabatical between my old blog and my new blog, I also saw Ms. Fraiser and the "new" Mrs. Erker. I use quotes because they've been married a few years already. Dig that!

Love, Yvette

Turned My Frown Upside Down

2008-03-15T09:37:00.000-07:00

Okay, this is going to be a crazy Yvette story that could only come from Yvette.

Yesterday I was really bummed out because it was my colleague Mark's last day working in the Fresno office. I treat him like a big brother, so it was sad to see him leave. We celebrated by going to Incredible John's for lunch and I kicked his ass in a game of DDR (Dance Dance Revolution). We had a great time but the whole experience was bittersweet. So, I came into work at REI in a very less than stellar estatic Yvette mood.

Until something happened. Now, because I'm Yvette, I'm NOT going to tell you what happened. Not because it's a secret, but because in relation to the world, it was a very insignificant event.

In my universe within the real universe, it was a VERY significant moment. Reminds me of the time my sister met Steve Perry (Journey) when she was in high school.

All that happened was that someone "poked their head into my universe, looked around briefly, and made eye contact with me before leaving". That is the best way I can think of how to describe it.

For me, it made my day! It turned my frown upside down! I was on cloud 9 for the rest of my day, and maybe a little bit still. Just for something as simple as an acknowledgement of existence.

Lame? Yeah, I know. But like I said, I'm Yvette. I make the corny, extraordinary.

Love, Yvette

Life Is Good!

2008-03-12T17:53:00.000-07:00

Isn't it? :)

First off, I just want to say a big thanks for my friends showing love and support in my moment of weakness. Jenny, John, Steve, mucho kudos to all of you. And no, I did not have a crush on Ramiro in high school, but I will confess, had he been single and asked me out for coffee, I would not have said no!

I'm still working on resizing my photos from the bike race. I had a great time and loved running into my REI co-workers. Mike, Richard, Brandon, Nancy, Kevin. I really enjoyed watching Brandon and Richard race. Races are cool regardless, but it's extra cool when you know some of the racers in real life. Now there were some racers there that I knew of, but did not know them in person. I read their blogs and visit their team websites. It's too cool to be able to see these people in real life. I tried to see the Lance man himself in San Francisco a few years ago before he retired, but he pulled out due to some lame-ass injury. Okay, maybe it wasn't really lame, but since I missed out on seeing him I felt really really denied, especially since that race day was on my friggin BIRTHDAY!!!!! Tell me that would not have been too cool for school?

I've been very busy this week, but life is good. Working lots of evenings so I haven't had time this week for much blogging. The day job is getting challenging too. We're losing another two colleagues this month. No, not the budget cuts again, one is retiring and the other one is making the jump from regional to state. My Marky Mark is leaving me to go play with the big kids up in Sacramento. The guys *I* report to. Unfortunately, because of the budget crisis we're in, they won't be replaced. Yup, more work for me!!! This is the time I don't mind sharing. Bummer dude.

Oh, and I've recovered from my Ramiro incident. Tonight, Robert Baber came into the store. Dude, I run into all sorts of people from my past in this place. I have a theory that REI is the hub of the universe. Actually, it was Robert and Kim- he married Kim Wheeler, they have two kids. Robert and I chatted for a bit, and it was a natural progression into the occupation subject. He works for a pharmacutical company, so I asked him about drug stuff since part of my job requires knowledge about chemotherapy agents. We had a brief conversation about DVT- deep vein thrombosis. It's funny what people who work in medical-related fields talk about.

Okay, that's it for now. It's WAY past my bedtime, and I have to go work in Porterville tomorrow. I'm being introduced to a new hospital and treatment facility. I'm kinda excited, because honestly, I've never even been to Porterville before. Peace out.

Love, Yvette

A Day At the Races

2008-03-09T19:35:00.000-07:00

Today was the Central Valley Classic down in the Tower District. It was good, I'll write about it soon and post a link to my flickr account, but first I want to show you the important pictures:

Me with the fabulous Michael Hernandez. (man, would I love to get my hands on those quads)

And this is the lovely Miss Taitt Sato. She took 3rd in the Pro/Elite Womens race. She's tiny (look, shorter than me!) but she is hardcore and a firecracker!!! She kicked ass! My hero!This is Rich. He's the Master Tech (read: he takes good care of my bike) at REI. He came out to race today too.
Keep an eye out for this guy. He's Brandon Trafton- a young one working his way up the peleton. He works part-time at REI while racing Cat 3 and finishing up high school. If I could pick someone to be my baby brother, he would be the one. I can't remember but I think he finished either 5th or 6th in his race today.

I'll post actual race photos as soon as I am done resizing and uploading. Hope your Sunday was as awesome as mine was.

Love, Yvette

Today I Failed

2008-03-02T21:27:00.000-08:00

This is one of those posts that wouldn't make it into Blossoms in the Sun, but must be spoken of regardless.

Today I failed. I failed REI, and most importantly I failed myself.

While at work today, one of my customers was a guy I went to high-school with and had a PE AC class with at Fresno State. To my fellow Pate alumns, it was Ramiro. You guys remember him, right? For reference, I haven't seen him in about 10 years.

Anyways, as usual, I recognized him right off the bat. I smiled and said Ramiro! He looked at me in recognition, but couldn't quite place me. Yeah, I'm like 75lbs heavier than I was back then, but that is neither here nor there. We weren't close, so that's the real reason he couldn't place me. It's only my smile that stays in people's memories. Not bad really, I like it. Back to the story, of course, I had to tell him I'm Yvette, we went to high school together, we had English with Mr. Shirey together and possibly History, but we also had Fencing together at Fresno State.

For the record, I sucked at fencing and Ramiro was a wunderkind like Malachi (aka Chris) who was a beginner for the first semester only and ever since was kicking ass. I'm pretty sure the handle on his foil was a pistol grip too....

So I asked Ramiro what he was up to. The usual, he's married, has a son who is just over a year old, and is a software engineer. We spoke briefly about our 10 year class reunion back in 2001. I went, he didn't. He was on his honeymoon.

So here is where the massive failure occurred:

He asked about me. The first words out of my mouth- actually the only words about myself out of my mouth were: This is my second job. My real job is in Cancer Information Management, I do data collection for cancer research.

Okay, everything I said was absolutely 100% true. But did you see what I did?

Sigh....

With the California state budget in the position it's in, I may very well find myself unemployed at the end of this fiscal year. So, with that looming over our heads every second of our 40 hour work week, the registry isn't quite the happiest place on Earth.

For me, right now, the happiest place on Earth is at REI. I absofuckinlutely love it there. I love my co-workers, I love my bosses, I love what we sell, I love what we stand for. Most of the customers are fantastic and I enjoy chatting with them. I love that I am learning so much about new activites (ie rock climbing, mountaineering, backpacking) and I have deep well of experience and knowledge to draw from for the activities I do partake in. Not to mention the shoes. THE SHOES!!!

So what happened? What did I do? At that moment I was utterly embarassed that he might think of me as "just a cashier". That being a cashier was "all that I had amounted to". Yeah, I lost my head and I freaked. Of course this was all garbage that *I* was putting into my head. He wasn't judging me. Why would he even care? And what is wrong with being a cashier at a kick-ass store like REI?

I feel like I have denied knowing my best friend, and I am ashamed :( I feel like I have just slapped all my wonderful co-workers in the face and told them that they are not good enough. I'm sorry. You are all wonderful people and I am so glad to be working with you.

A negative thought, and apprently a big insecurity that I just couldn't let myself sweep under the rug.

Love, Yvette

iPod Update

2008-02-29T07:32:00.000-08:00

No, I’m not done loading my iPod yet. Far from it. So far I have 1191 songs from 87 CDs from 58 artists. 14 of the 87 CDs are various artist compilations, which drives the artist count higher.

It’s going to take a while to get all my CDs uploaded.

To feed my need to make lists, here is my current artist list:

Peter Gabriel
Anderson Bruford Wakeman Howe
Acama
Annie Lennox
Bach
Barlow Girl
The Beatles
Blue Man Group
Charlie Hunter
Coldplay
The Cure
David Arkenstone
Dead Can Dance
Delerium
Eddie Vedder
Edie Brickell & New Bohemians
Ella Fitzgerald
Enigma
Enya
Evanescence
Gabriel Roth & The Mirrors
Garth Brooks
Genesis
Gyuto Monks Tantric Choir
Hiroshima
Jane Siberry
John Williams
Journey
k.d. lang
Kenny Loggins
Korn
Laurie Anderson
Linkin Park
Melissa Etheridge
On Ensemble
Phil Collins
The Police
Queen
Ray Lynch
Regina Spektor
Rob Thomas
Rob Zombie
San Jose Taiko
Sarah McLachlan
Shadowfax
Stevie Nicks
The Sundays
System of a Down
Talking Heads
Tan Dun
Thomas Newman
Tool
U2
Van Halen
Wayanay
Yanni
10,000 Maniacs

Happy Friday
Love, Yvette

Wednesday

2008-02-28T21:02:00.000-08:00

5:00 a.m. Alarm goes off: "Climbing up on Solsbury hill, I could see the city light. Wind was blowing, time stood still. Eagle flew out of the night. He was something to observe...."

Me: Get up.

Me: I don't want to get up.

Me: You've got to go to work.

Me: I don't want to go to work.

Me: It's Wednesday.

Me: So?

Me: Hello? Casa Corona.

Me: Ooooh, Casa Corona.

*Yvette gets up*

(end scene)

Love, Yvette

Work Stuff

2008-02-25T22:00:00.000-08:00

Tonight I sold a memebership to this guy:

http://www.toyota-united.com/downloads/RIDERSTAFFPDF/Benny.Ma_TUP.pdf

Super cool :)

Love, Yvette

Monday Night Laugh

2008-02-25T16:19:00.000-08:00

Thanks Stacey!!!!

Enjoy

Love, Yvette

Websites That Have My Attention

2008-02-23T21:42:00.000-08:00

http://www.freerice.com

http://junkycarclub.com

Hope you are all staying warm and dry! :-D

Love, Yvette

Oh, And...

2008-02-21T22:07:00.000-08:00

A) I can't believe no one caught the "shing"!!!!!

and

B) Dude, I got a postcard from Singapore yesterday!!!!!! I love postcards from my friendy-friends!!!!

Weekend Recap +

2008-02-21T17:43:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I know that it's already Thursday, but I wanted to catch some peeps up on my weekend.

Okay it didn't start out so good. My water pump on my car died on me. It started going out last Tuesday on one of my path lab trips in Merced. That's how I spent my Friday, not at work and not out playing. But $210 later, my car was back to good. A little miffed, because if some of you remember, I just replaced my water pump a year and a half ago.

Saturday I worked, then I went DANCING!!!!! Oh how I love dancing. My excellent dance partner Manny was in town for the 3 day weekend, so we went clubbing!!! We hit up a new joint, and who knows, there may be a pair of cowboy boots in my future....

Sunday I worked, I touched on that already, it's all good.

Monday I rode, wrote about that too, then I went to work. I was on a natural high for the rest of the day. Got a high five from my REI colleague Carlos. Props are always welcomed.

Tuesday my office-mate Melissa returned from maturnity leave. I have a new niece!!! Her name is Brianna and she is a cutie!!!

Since then, I've been spending my time getting wet in Merced. It's my first time back hospital abstracting in almost a year. I thought I would be overwhelmed, but I held my own and pulled in some decent numbers. I can't wait until the new hospital is finished. Merced is way overdue....

Tomorrow is Friday, TGIF. Crazy thoughts, I want to win lotto and go back to school. My short attention span wants to try something new....

Just thoughts

Love, Yvette

I Rode!

2008-02-18T15:39:00.000-08:00

Wow, a day to end all days! I have a day off, I re-start blogging, AND I go for a bike ride. I should buy a lotto ticket.

A modest beginning, definitely. 8 miles with mild rollers. A more traveled cyclist would not have even noticed the length or the difficulty, but it was a very good first workout of the year for me.

Thanks to Belinda, my assistant store manager for today. Yesterday, before we opened the store, we had relay races on the sales floor. Laps of racing with rolling chairs, soft carts and bicycles. I rode the bicycle. Normally I ride with a helmet. It's the safe and sane thing to do, but yesterday I didn't. I rode fast enough inside the store that I caught wind and I felt it flowing though my hair. You cannot imagine how good that felt to me at that moment. For the rest of the day all I wanted to do was to go outside and feel the wind again. I felt like I had just awaken from a long deep sleep. I wanted to feel sun on my skin and wind on my face, feel muscles burn, and my alveoli stretch. Today, to feel all that, felt oh so good. And today is such a BEAUTIFUL day!!!

I hope your day is going as lovely as mine.

Love, Yvette

In Other Random News...

2008-02-18T10:55:00.001-08:00

This cute little ham turned 21 on Saturday. DAMN I'm getting old!!!!!

Ontogeny Recapitulates Phylogeny

2008-02-18T00:28:00.000-08:00

Hello. I'm back. With a new blog.

Late, but that is so me. I guess I'm just keeping it real ;)

I just wanted a new thought process, something less structured. A blog that could ebb and flow with my wants, needs, moods. There were things that I wanted to write about, think out loud about, but I didn't, because I felt it didn't fit right with the theme of Blossoms in the Sun. Of course, I know that since it was my blog I could write about whatever the hell I felt like, but, I created a theme- a purpose, and I was going to stick with it.

So, what are my intentions with this blog? My only intention is to express myself- what is inside my head, what is inside my heart, what is inside my body, what goes on in my dreams when I sleep. My hopes, dreams, fears, my restless emotions. My pain. My bliss. I have all in equal amounts.

My passion.

Something I am working on this year and hopefully from here on out is my authenticity. I will be writing on that alot, I anticipate. I've recently had an earth shattering moment. Sounds bad, but in reality it's ranks as one of the best things that ever happened to me. In relationship to the universe, what happened was small, and quite lame. To me, it turned my world upside down, and shook up my point of view. False gods, and "hot shits" came crashing down off pedestals I created. Apparently pedestalling (is that a real word?) is a VERY BAD HABIT of mine. Basically I was snapped out of very bad thinking that did not benefit me at all. Attempting authenticity, I must admit that I have no one to blame but myself. Don't get me wrong, I still stuggle with this self-destructive idea. I believed this one thought for about 5 years, maybe more. I even based decisions on this one thought and tried unsuccessfully to changes aspects of myself for another. All because of this one lame thought. I still struggle, because even though my head has clarity now, my heart ever so slightly still yearns for the (false) sense of perfection that one thought brought. Yes, I fully admit, I am a hopeless romantic on all levels.

So that is me, and where I am at. Well, part of me. In discussion with a work colleague of mine, I discovered that I don't fully reveal myself to everyone I know. I guess to a certain degree, we all do that, and we all have our reasons. I, for example, have a colorful past. Only 50% of my friends know of it. Not really a big deal. What I find more troubling with myself is that two years ago when I had to re-register to vote because I moved, I changed political parties. This is the first I am speaking of it, and I'm sure there are going to be friends who upon reading this will sigh, shake their heads, and generally "not approve". It troubles me that even as I am typing this, I am worrying about it.

Old thinking: I feared revealing how I really felt, what I really thought, because I feared being rejected for it. New thinking: Not going to worry about it anymore. I think part of the fear grew out of the original self-destructive idea, snowballing to massive proportions.

So that, is going to be that, for now. It's a day off, it's partly sunny, I want to ride my bicycle today. So, for those of you who are still here:

Welcome :D

Love, Yvette

I Think I'm Almost Ready

2008-02-17T23:53:00.001-08:00

Just one last test of the formatting and such.

Get Off Your Ass, Yvette

2008-02-04T20:04:00.000-08:00

and finish this flippin blog!

Format Test III

2008-01-15T22:58:00.001-08:00

Now is the time for all good men and women to come to the aid of their country.

The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.

Format Test III

2008-01-15T22:58:00.000-08:00

Now is the time for all good men and women to come to the aid of their country.

The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.

Format Test II

2008-01-15T22:50:00.000-08:00

Format Test

2008-01-15T22:37:00.000-08:00